My Rant on Weight: Skinny Bitch, Fat Ass and Everywhere in Between

How'd she do it? She ate less.

I've been blogging about body issues all month and I've barely mentioned the biggie - WEIGHT. Why? Because I'm so enlightened about the importance of health and inner beauty that my weight is no longer of concern to me. I've risen above it.

HA!

Of course I care about my weight - I think about it all the time. It influences how I feel about myself on a daily basis. Does this make me shallow or vain? Have I been victimized by the unrealistic body images portrayed in the media?

I'm going to get a cookie and think about that.

The answer is - No! I'm not a misguided dupe. Weight matters to me and probably to you too. Most of us are obsessed with weight for very good reason. We know we need to lose some, and that we'd feel much happier and healthier if we did.

Being at a healthy body weight is so important for women our age. It is one of the single biggest factors in maintaining our joints and heart, and can significantly reduce the risk of type 2 diabetes and some cancers. But also, it feels damn good to be fit. Everything is easier and more fun - from climbing stairs to choosing an outfit in the morning.

I'm not talking about looking like a Hollywood starlet. Celebs look amazing on camera, but it's surprising how slight and insubstantial some appear in person. A few years ago I went to a taping of the Oprah Show and saw actress Patricia Heaton, who played the "average" mom on Everybody Loves Raymond. She was so tiny I could have encircled her delicate ankle with my thumb and middle finger.

I don't blame the stars for being extremely thin. They're like jockeys and wrestlers; to succeed in their chosen profession their bodies have to weigh a certain amount and they'll do what it take to get them there.With all the fasting, cleansing and exercising, I wonder how some of the waifs have energy to lift their heads from the pillow each morning.

But there's a lot of working room between the average woman and the average movie star. The latest government stats are sobering - over half of all American women are overweight or obese. To stave what has become an epidemic, the USDA and Department of Health and Human Services have issued some new dietary guidelines. Their basic advice: don't eat so much. 


Wow, that's simple. Don't consume more calories than your body needs. The tough part is that our calorie requirement goes down as we get older, which is why we women over 40 have a harder time keeping off the pounds. (Click here for tips to lose weight after 40.)

How much should we weigh? I checked the ideal weight chart at thirdage.com, and I think the range is valid for me. When I felt my absolute best I was toward the bottom end - right now I'm pushing the ceiling. I'm still in the zone, but it doesn't feel or look nearly as good.

So, what to do? There's so much - too much - information out there about weight loss. There are diet books and websites and spiritual weight loss guides and exercise programs and supplements. Jennifer Hudson lost 80 pounds on Weight Watchers; Valerie Bertinelli lost 40 on Jenny Craig. It's daunting.

It helps to know that it all boils down to this - to lose weight I have to consume fewer calories. Exercise is great and has physical and emotional benefits in it's own right, but weight loss is about reducing intake. To burn off the two cookies I just ate, I'd have to jog for a half an hour. It would have been much easier not to eat them to begin with!

So, today, as I wrap up a month of writing about the body, I'm going back to the only tool that has ever worked for me - a Food Journal. I'm returning to the plan I used successfully two years ago  and shoot for 1600-1700 calories a day while making sure I eat plenty of fruits, veggies, milk and yogurt (for calcium!)

There are yummy treats on offer everywhere - it's easy to just eat without really thinking about what I'm doing. But starting right now, I'm going to at least be conscious of what I consume. I'm gonna write down every single thing I put in my mouth - even those damn cookies. 

Weighing in on the Scale of Success

Do you weigh yourself every day? I do. Each morning, before I've had so much as a sip of coffee, I strip down to my underwear and - gripping the bathroom counter - gingerly lower myself onto my digital scale. Then I hold my breath and wait for the number to flash.

In that split second, my whole day hangs in the balance. Am I good, am I acceptable? Can I go forth and face the world with confidence? Or am I a big bad fatty?

Yesterday, I read one of my old journals and realized I've been using the scale to measure my worthiness for my entire adult life.

Here's what I wrote 16 years ago:

Fat = Failure

Back then I'd just turned 31, had a baby, and was overwhelmed trying to balance the demands of my job, my marriage and motherhood.

I hadn't had a full night's sleep in months, I felt weepy and insecure. I felt like I was struggling on all fronts - I was the first person to leave the office at the end of the day, yet the last mom to pick up her kid from day care.

And the sure sign that I was a loser was the number on the scale, eight pounds over my "ideal" weight. Eight pounds may not sound like much, but to me they represented all my flaws - my laziness, my lack of discipline, and my general unworthiness.

But here's the thing that got me: my weight back then was exactly what I weigh today.

Is it possible that I've spent the last 16 years beating myself up over the same eight pounds? What a freaking waste of time. You'd think by now I would have either A) lost the stupid weight or B) stopped worrying about it.

The obsession over weight is narcissistic self-sabotage. What if, instead of looking to the scale to validate myself, I looked in the mirror every morning and said "hey gorgeous"? What if I opened the window and took a deep breath of fresh air and said "Zippity doo da, it feels great to be alive!" Why choose to start the day with a harsh self-judgment that more often than not makes me feel lousy?

Well, I'm not doing it anymore. I'm not going to let the scale tell me how I can feel about myself. My weight is just a tiny facet of who I am, and by focusing on it I dishonor all the other qualities that make me me.

So screw you scale! You may measure pounds, but you're no measure of success.

I'm off to have a Zippity doo da day.

Success! It took a little while, but I lost 4 pounds with Sharon's 4 Fs

I've been focused. I cut out the junk food and am eating lots of fruits and veggies. I'm working on my fitness with short but effective cardio and strength training workouts.

After almost 3 weeks, I reached my goal. Success is nothing but fun.

Following the 4 Fs to Losing 4 Pounds- Update #3

After two weeks on Sharon's program, I've lost three pounds. The goal is four pounds and I'm staying Focused. While I'm working on that last pound, here's a quick tip from Sharon about how anyone can look thinner - right now!



You can reach Sharon Davis at: sharon.8765@gmail.com