Saturday, June 29, 2013

Sexy Classes, Trips, and Resources for Couples - Something for Everybody!

Esalen a retreat in Big Sur California offers couples
 many ways to connect. (image via
Check out my latest Sex & the Suburbs column for Make it Better Magazine. It's packed full of resources for couples who want to inject some heat into their love lives. If you've been longing to improve your sex life but haven't known how, my column gives you a lot of options from books and flirty websites to far off retreats. Here's a couple fun things to try, but read my full story to get the whole lusty list!

Sexy Website: GetLusty.comFounded by Chicagoans Erica Grigg and her husbandTim WaltonGetLusty is a website for couples designed to put an end to boring sex. Couples can peruse articles focusing on 5 key areas of an amazing relationship: communication, technique, health, dates and adventure. Once you see an article that gets your pulse racing—for example, the pizza delivery role-play idea—you can note it on the site so your partner (privately) gets the message. GetLusty’s content is well-written, sex-positive and comprehensive. If you have a hankering to expand your knowledge or your repertoire, this is a fun place to start. Membership prices range from free to $19.99/month.  
Sexy Field Trip: Weird Chicago’s Red Light District Sex TourBilled as the only Sex Tour in America, Weird Chicago’s three-hour bus tour with colorful guide and sexpert Sunny Megatron has received rave reviews. The tour includes stops at a number of blush-worthy Chicago locations you never knew existed, such as secret sex clubs, historical red light districts, S&M dungeons and more. Explore the naughty side of the city, and perhaps each other. If you have a group of like-minded, curious friends, this entire bus can be booked as a charter. The cost for the tour is $40 per person.  
Full story at: 

Monday, June 17, 2013

Turn on Your Magic

I came across this quote this morning and had to share. It perfectly describes how I feel about this stage of life.
"Midlife is NOT the time to disenchant ourselves. It's a time to turn on all our magic in full force." 
- Marianne Williamson
Image from

I'm going to add this book to my Mid Life Crisis reading list! We are perfectly positioned to engage with life with our fully developed talents, experiences, and desires. We are ripe!

Now go forth and have a deliciously juicy Monday.

Monday, June 10, 2013

Meet my Mentors - Game of Thrones Chicks and Judy Blume

Judy Blume and Julia Keller
at Printers Row Lit Fest
What does HBO's violent fantasy series Game of Thrones have to do with Judy Blume, one of America's most beloved girl-coming-of age authors? Nothing, except I saw both of them yesterday and was most impressed. I saw Judy Blume speak at Chicago's Printers Row Lit Fest in the afternoon and she is delightful.

It's hard to believe the prolific author is 75 years old. She speaks and moves as lightly as one of the teenage girls she's been so apt at characterizing over the years in books such as "Are you There God? It's Me, Margaret." I loved hearing her discuss her creative process, which involves writing every morning and, gulp, five complete rewrites of every manuscript. Judy Blume and her son have made the first film based on one of her books, Tiger Eyes. I've made an appointment to watch it on demand with my daughter.

As much as I enjoyed seeing Judy Blume, yesterday's real drama was the Season 3 Finale of Game of Thrones. I don't know why exactly I'm so obsessed with this show. Some of it is so disgusting and  horrifying (like every scene with Theon Greyjoy) I have to scamper out of the room so I won't see. Plus, as soon as I get attached to a character, he or she gets something chopped off.

Catelyn's troubles are over
The show has been criticized for being misogynistic (there are a lot of rapes and boobies) but I find most of the women characters on Game of Thrones simply fascinating. The odds are definitely stacked against women in Westeros, but the skills they develop to cope with their brutal world are brilliant. It makes me wonder, which character am I most like?

I wish it was my namesake, the charmingly manipulative Margaery, or perhaps the dark magic wielding priestess, Milisandre. Talk about feminine powers! But according to the quiz I took online, I identify most with Catelyn, the noble, principled, long-suffering Starck matriarch. You know - the middle aged mom. Sheesh. I get it, but unfortunately Catelyn had a rather bloody demise last week, so I'm going to have to find someone else to relate to next season.

Are you a Game of Thrones fan, and if so, which character are you? Are you the valiant warrior Brienne? The scrappy, vengeful Arya? You can take the quiz for yourself right here.

Saturday, June 8, 2013

6 Ways to Communicate Better with Your Man

A couple months ago I gave a talk to a men's group on how to build intimacy in long-term relationships. The guys were attentive and sincerely interested in how to get closer to their wives/female partners. At the end of the session, I turned it around and asked  - What can women do to get closer to you men? Surprisingly, most of their issues weren't around sex, they were about communication. Apparently, the way we women carry on conversations can be confusing, frustrating, and even painful for men.

The discussion inspired my latest column for Make it Better. Ladies, if you want to communicate more effectively with your guy, try these techniques, below. 

How to Talk to Your Man
1. State your purpose. Do you just want to share a story or are you looking for his help? Men are solution-driven, so telling your guy what you want will help him actively listen.
2. Start at the beginning and proceed sequentially. Men are logical thinkers and get frustrated when women bounce between subjects or go off on tangents.
3. Touch him. Men are less verbal than women and value affectionate physical contact. Hold his hand or touch his shoulder, and he’ll pay closer attention to you.
4. Don’t expect him to guess how you feel. He really doesn’t know and would appreciate you telling him. 
5. Focus on him. You can chat with your girlfriend while folding laundry or balancing your checkbook, but men operate by giving their full attention to one thing at a time and find other activity distracting. 
6. Turn up the charm. According to “The Normal Bar,” a comprehensive relationship study of more than 70,000 people, criticism and bossiness undermine intimacy in a relationship.
Let me know if you have any success with these tips or would like to share your own! Read the full article at, (including tips for how men should talk to us) by following this link: