Thursday, December 17, 2009

46 Year Old Shapewear Virgin tries Spanx for 1st Time

Yes, they hold it in and smooth it out, but are they comfortable? Read my review of my first pair of Spanx ever on my other blog at True/Slant.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Marriage Rx - Hotel Sex

If you've been married to your partner for 10 years or more and have children, I'm fairly certain you have two problems with your sex life: 1) no privacy and 2) no variety. Today I'm putting on my love doctor lab coat and giving you an important prescription.

Book yourself a hotel room.

First of all, you need to get away from your kids. Parents of younger children might snatch a few minutes of alone time after the kids are in bed, but it's still hard to relax. Nothing quashes desire like the pitter pat of little feet outside your locked bedroom door or a cry for a glass of water during a crucial moment of of an intimate act.

And once your kids are older, forget about it. Teenagers are like vampires; it's impossible to outlast them at night. You try to retreat to the master suite on a pretense - "Dad and I are watching the History Channel!"- but they sense what you're up to. Teens who haven't willingly uttered two words to you in days will be banging on the door with a lame question, forcing you to scramble for your panties. It's not hot.

When you finally manage to find uninterrupted time in the bedroom, let's face it - it's routine. Same bed, same view, same lighting. Remember when you were younger, all the exciting places you and your spouse did it? Beaches, golf courses, elevators? (Well, I never did it in an elevator, but I have friends.) It was fun! Sometimes I think my bedroom is the least sexy place in the entire world. It makes me sleepy.

But there is a solution, and it's only a click away. Book yourself into a hotel.

"But I can't!" I hear you protest. "It's too expensive, and who will watch my kids overnight?"

Silly. You can get a lovely hotel room for the price of a decent restaurant meal. And, duh, you aren't going to sleep there. A couple hours will do just fine.

For example, this Saturday night you can stay at the W Hotel City Center in Chicago (room pictured above) for a very reasonable $109. It's a short walk from the train station - you can be down and back (no pun intended) on the Metra and home before 11:00 p.m. Pack a duffle bag with a bottle of champagne, a hunk of cheese, strawberries, chocolate, some sexy lingerie and a tube of this stuff. I promise, it will be the best date night you've had in a while.

As my friend Ginny says, "If I were in a hotel I'd have sex every night!"

Monday, December 7, 2009

Me on Marriage

Sometimes I can't believe I've been married for 18 years - and all of them to the same guy, even.

A long-lasting marriage isn't something I grew up taking for granted. My parents divorced when I was eight and my brother was six. Other than my grandparents, there weren't any models of enduring unions in my family. My father is an only child and my mother's two sisters went through divorces too.

We lived with my mother, but my dad lived nearby and we saw him often. From my perspective, my parents got along fine. To be honest, I didn't think divorce was such a terrible thing. It - along with step-parents, step-siblings, and split holidays - was just the way it was.

Both my parents remarried and have been with their current partners for over 30 years. But when I was a kid, even when I was in college, those relationships were still pretty new. I'd seen my mom get dressed up for dinner dates and played Monopoly with my dad's pretty girlfriends, but I had no idea what an 18-year marriage looked like. Now I'm in one.

I've ended up in a surprisingly stable state and it's uncharted territory. I love my Liam, and I'm really happy we're married. But our relationship has definitely evolved over the years. We're parents now, we've settled down, we've grown up. We've got goals and plans and dreams and some of them have nothing to do with each other. We have fun, we have history, we have slumps. Is this the way things are supposed to be?

I have no friggin' clue.

That's why, among other subjects, I'll continue to explore the ups and downs of marriage and divorce here on Forty Fabulous. Whether it's someone famous like Tiger Woods or my own beloved Posse chicks, their unique stories help me understand my relationship. Whatever your marital status - happily married, divorced or somewhere in between - I hope they shed a little light on yours, too!

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Oh Tiger. What makes powerful men cheat?

Looks like Tiger Woods has joined a long list of prominent, powerful men who have cheated on their beautiful and/or brilliant wives. Amid reports of an affair with at least one other woman, Tiger released a statement on his website yesterday which said:
"I have let my family down and I regret those transgressions with all of my heart. I have not been true to my values and the behavior my family deserves."
Gee, Tiger, exactly what do you regret? Having a three-year affair with a Las Vegas cocktail waitress or sending her the numerous texts and voicemail messages she's using against you in the tabloids?

All these cheating men - David Letterman, Mark Sanford, Eliot Spitzer, just to name a few - express deep regret. Once they're caught.

I'm tired of hearing about actors, politicians, athletes and their sleazy affairs. But I have to wonder - what makes these famous guys do it? Because of their visibility, the stakes are especially high when their infidelities are exposed. Not only do they risk their marriages; they risk scandal, public humiliation and professional ruin.

According to Psychology Today's Love Doctor, Terri Orbuch, powerful men are likely to cheat for a number of reasons:

1. They think they're invincible.
2. They have more opportunities for temptation (through travel and accessible women.)
3. They're adrenaline junkies and like excitement and challenge.
4. They are surrounded by enabling yes men.
5. They want variety/change.

Oh, I get it. They're big, confident studs who need to express their masterful type-A selves to a wide variety of women. The very qualities that make them successful make them more likely to stray.

Supermodels beware! That famous ball player or rock star may be wealthy and hot, but he's likely to break your beautiful heart. Maybe you should consider a hard-working accountant instead.