Friday, November 30, 2012

One Big Sex Tip for the Holidays

Last night concluded the "Sex & the Suburbs - Live" three-part series at the Wilmette Theatre, and I am still riding the high. The turnout in the theatre was fabulous, and there was a great balance between men and women, which was perfect, given the subject was: Bridging the Male/Female Divide - How to get what you Really Want for the Holidays.

Wow did we cover a lot of ground, and I'd like to summarize it for you here, but I don't have time, because I'm off to Paris tomorrow for a weeklong writing seminar. Bucket list! Anyway, here's one tidbit from last night's show to keep in mind to get what you want from your man when it comes to sex.

Have you told your him what you desire? Have you given him the opportunity to give it to you? 

Men actually are not selfish pigs. They don't mind getting off, but they enjoy sex most when they satisfy their woman. It makes them feel manly! But, unfortunately, they don't always know how to go about it. So why not clue them in?

This season, to get what you really long for, ask for it! I know I'm going to.

And, hey. Here's an article about me and the show from the Wilmette Patch.  I'm used to doing the interviewing, so it's weird to be on the other side. But I think Teme Rings did a wonderful job. And she came to last night's show with her husband too!

Au revoir mes amies! I'll report back when I get home from France. And I'll talk about something other than sex for a change, promise.

Monday, November 5, 2012

Thanks Bedhead Photography!

For my column for Make it Better I write about a lot of aspects of relationships and sexuality, some of which I am professionally obligated to try out for myself - in the name of research, of course. This can be a very fun job.

I've written about boudoir photography before, but I never tried it until a few weeks ago, when Angela Keefe of Bedhead Boudoir Photography invited me to experience a mini-shoot. I was very nervous about baring my bod for the camera and thought I'd feel foolish trying to act sexy, but Angela made the experience feel very comfortable and natural. Her beautiful home in Winnetka serves as her studio and she has many lovely rooms to use as settings. I have to give a big shout out to Paula Heckenast and her team from City Lights Makeup  for doing such a gorgeous job on my hair and makeup, which is a huge part of the experience and the results.

I'm sharing a couple of the tamer photos with you here, because, hey, this is the internet after all. But I can tell you my husband is very excited to be in possession of a couple of the more revealing shots.

Boudoir photography makes a nice gift for the man in your life, but I think its greatest value is how it makes you feel about yourself. How often do we stand in front of the mirror criticizing our appearance? Seeing ourselves as beautiful and sensual - especially as we get older - can be a revelation. And I'm not the only one who thinks so. Emily Harrell, the sex therapist who was so insightful and open as part of my last "Sex & the Suburbs" panel, often recommends boudoir photography to her female clients, to help them appreciate themselves and gain confidence with their sexuality. 

I didn't have a lot of time to prepare for this shoot, and I discovered I have a embarrassingly limited selection of lingerie, especially for a sex columnist. I've got to remedy that situation! If you're interested in this experience, I recommend a long, leisurely trip to a lingerie store to select some fun outfits in varying degrees of skimpiness. (I've officially moved on from Victoria's Secret to the more mature Soma, but if you want to treat yourself, try La Perla.)

I promise, you will end up feeling more comfortable in your skin than you think! But hey, with the right hair, make up, and lighting (and a little strategic photo-shopping), the gals at Bedhead can make even a white tailored shirt look hot.

To see my prior posts about the experience of Boudoir Photography, follow the links below.