Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Divorced and Dating - Games People Play

When the women of the Posse hit the town, it's not to find Mr. Right; it's to have a good time. These girls have no interest in matrimony. When I asked them if they wanted to get married again, they responded:

"Never, from the bottom of my heart." - Regina

"Not now." - Grace

"I'd like a partner later in life, but I've put my kids through hell once. I'm not going to do anything else to unsettle them." -Bunny

So, Bunny, Regina and Grace don't go to bars in search of happily ever after; they're looking for fun. The women are witty, bawdy and entertaining in their own right, but the game is always livelier when there are men around to spar and flirt with.

The women have been hanging out on the North Shore for a few years, so they've begun to see the same familiar faces. The Posse assigns tribal names to regulars, such as the hot guy with poor conversation skills who they named "Man Who Should Not Speak." Once a name is assigned, it sticks. Sorry, dude, you can shave your head if you want to, but you'll always be "Man Who Needs Haircut" to the Posse.

Some of the men playing the field are playing a different game - they're pretending not to be married. One night, Regina met a hunky blond guy who drove her home in his expensive sports car. She invited him in for a nightcap and one thing led to another. "He swore he wasn't married!" said Regina. "The next day my friend saw him in Kenilworth with his wife, pushing a baby stroller."

According to the Posse, we wouldn't believe how many married men are out there hitting on other women. Of this, the Posse does not approve. "They take off their rings and tell you they aren't married," said Bunny. "They lie."

There are all kinds of hazards out there when you're single the second time around - fat, sloppy guys who think they've got a chance, guys who are too needy, guys who don't call, guys who can't get it up. Why do the Posse gals even bother going out?

Because it's exciting, it's silly, and it's a blast. This trio of divorced women doesn't apologize for going to bars or meeting men or occasionally bringing one home. Yes, they're mothers and they're over 40, but they're three vibrant, gorgeous chicks who want a little company once in a while - just for fun, not forever.

Towards the end of the night at Flight, a good looking, dark haired man entered the bar. "Armando!" said Regina, "What are you doing here?"

Armando (not his real name) explained that he was recently divorced and living on his own and sometimes dropped into Flight for a drink. Armando and Regina had gone to high school together. She introduced him to the rest of us.

"You need to give him a tribal name," I said, by now getting into the Posse swing of things. Regina sized him up. Armando was not tall.

"We'll call him 'Man with Eyes at Breast Level'," she pronounced. The rest of us cracked up.

Thus ended my night out with Bunny, Regina and Grace. But the discussion about divorce and dating is just beginning. Stay tuned, because next time I'm talking to the men!


sarah in pisces water said...

:-) I love the way you write. I laughed out loud.

Blasé said...

Women are usually not honest when it comes to talking about relationships.

Marjie Killeen said...

Thank you so much Sarah! And Blase, I think men and women have a very hard time expressing what they need/want from each other and it may come across as dishonesty. There certainly is game-playing going on.

rn terri said...

Tribal names! Too funny! In my experience MEN are not very honest when talking about relationships...

Marjie Killeen said...

rn terri - I think my tribal name should be "Woman Who Must Not Drink Straight Vodka." :) Thanks for continuing to read.

Dating said...

Thank you so much Sarah for this post!