Wednesday, September 23, 2009

After the Divorce - Rediscovering Sex

This is my second article about The Posse, a trio of hip, funny, attractive divorced moms living on the North Shore. To read my first post introducing them, click here.

Sex with their husbands had been bad for a long time, the Posse told me. It ranged from infrequent to icky. At the end, the women were merely going through the motions, not participating mentally or emotionally. They felt detached from the act, cut off from their bodies. With the divorce, all that changed.

"I was dead, dead, dead for years." said Regina. "Coming out of my marriage was like coming out of the desert." Bunny and Grace nodded and grinned in agreement. I signaled the waitress to bring us another round.

Fresh from the trauma of ending a marriage, the last thing the Posse chicks wanted was a serious relationship. They wanted to have a little fun, they wanted to feel alive again. Hell, they wanted to get laid.

And there were plenty of willing partners.

Bunny slept with her process server on the night he was supposed to deliver the final divorce papers to her husband. Grace hooked up with a hot parking valet who chauffeured her to her car at a friend's country club. Regina did the bump and grind with not one, but two 23 year-old guys (separately, not at the same time.)

These encounters made the newly single women feel reawakened, rediscovered, liberated! After years of sexual drought, this wasn't love, honey, this was therapy. The Posse women laugh when they tell these stories. They laugh at their audacious naughtiness, the unexpected thrills, and their newfound right to screw whoever they want, damn it, just to please themselves.

But the Posse isn't only out for casual sex, as refreshing as it was initially. These gals spend most of their time as hardworking single moms, not sex kittens, and they need meaningful adult relationships to sustain them. That's why Bunny, Regina and Grace all agree that the first fix-up a newly divorced woman needs is with other women in the same situation. To hang with, to laugh with, to support one another.

Next up - the suburban & single bar scene. Where to go, what to expect.


Anonymous said...

Hi Marjie -
Love the whole Posse concept - as you know from grad school, I'm nearly in the same boat, except I'm widowed, not divorced. It's been six years since my husband died and let me tell you, the posse girls are not joking when then say its tough out there.
One thing that drives me crazy is that so many of the men in their 40's and 50's are looking for women in their 20's and 30's. I am confident that I can hold my own with women my own age, but a 25-30 year old? Are you kidding?
I cannot wait for future installments on the posse. I am particularly interested in finding social settings for people in our age group. :)
Take care, Kathleen

Marjie Killeen said...

Kathleen, I know, you look amazing! The posse women have definitely encountered the same problem -men their age looking for younger women. As Bunny said "I'd have better luck trying to pick up another woman than a man!" But I don't want to give too much away yet. Check back in a couple days.

rn terri said...

Great article!!! I love these girls! Kathleen you got that right about what men are looking for. Glad I am no longer single. Though, 2nd marriages are not without problems......