Style Inspiration - My Daughter Emma

I'm crazy about my kids but I rarely blog about them because they're teenagers and I respect their privacy. But my 16 year-old daughter Emma looked so fresh and adorable in this outfit I had to snap this pic and - with her permission - post it. Plus, the girl kidnapped my treasured jean jacket, so she owes me.

This isn't a look I'd wear myself (that skirt is way too short) but I admire Emma's easy mix of hard and soft, so maybe I could find a way to integrate a little of that into my more mature wardrobe this summer. A long linen skirt with big brown leather belt maybe?

As a mom, what I really love about this pic is how happy and natural Emma looks. But for the record, here's what she's wearing:

• Gap jean jacket - mine, bought at least ten years ago
• Black t-shirt 
• Aritzia cream high waisted lace skirt
• Frye "Veronica" Short Boots - Don't scorn me, fellow teen moms. I know they're expensive. She bought them with her own babysitting money, okay?

Thanks for allowing me to let off a little proud "look at my baby" steam. Hope you and your family enjoy your weekend in grand style!

PS - I'm on the hunt for more real-life style inspiration, so don't be surprised if I ask to take your picture next.

Style Inspiration - Lovely Rita

I play tennis with Rita Lashmet almost every week, and yes, she's tall and blond and gorgeous, but I had no idea how glam the woman was until yesterday when she joined an informal tennis gathering looking like this!

I immediately demanded she tell me where she had been (obviously not the tennis court) and all the details about her chic outfit, which my iPhone camera does not fully capture.

Anyway, Rita good naturedly agreed to give me the scoop and so now I can share it with you. She's an interior designer and owner of RL Designs, so she  knows where to get the good stuff but not pay top dollar.

Where she'd been:
Board Meeting for the Lincoln Park Zoo Ball and
the Merchandise Mart in Chicago, on behalf of design clients.

What she's wearing:

• Vintage camel coat from Winnetka consignment shop (think it's closed now)
• Yigal Azrouel dress from Saks Fifth Avenue Off 5th (their discount outlet)
• Jimmy Choo nude pumps

Thanks Rita! It makes me happy to have friends that look this good.

I'm on the lookout for more real-life style inspiration, so watch out friends - I may be asking to photograph you next!

PS - A "seen on the street" fashion blog that makes me feel good about life is photographer Scott Schuman's website The Sartorialist. Fresh and beautiful images from around the globe.

Playing Stylist for Anne Hathaway at Oscars

I love what Anne Hathaway wore to this year's Academy Awards, but wouldn't the Best Actress winner have looked yummy in my outfit? Plus, I think the girl deserves a snack. Thanks to my friends over at TheSucculentWife.com for inviting me to participate in their annual Oscar style-off! See our recommendations for the rest of the nominees here.

Anne Hathaway Oscars '13 by marjiek featuring a raffia handbag

Spring 2012 Style - Start with Your Closet

Some of the hottest trends of the season - color blocking, mixed patterns - might be hiding right in your closet. In this short video I made for MakeitBetter.net, fashion editor Kat Achenbach shows a reader, Mia, how to work with clothes she already owns to create fresh and fashionable outfits without spending a dime. Let it inspire you to play around in your own closet.

Swimsuit Shopping doesn't have to Suck

In a couple weeks I'm going to Mexico with 45 people. Our group is comprised of a dozen high school senior boys along with parents and a few younger siblings. The boys are tight, but the rest of us don't know each other as well. Being in a bathing suit in front of so many people (including some super-fit moms) is stressing me out. I want to look my best, or at least feel comfortable.

So Friday, feeling unexpectedly brave, I went swimsuit shopping. I came home with a great suit, but it wasn't easy. Since I'm fresh from the dressing room, I thought I'd share some tips on how to make the whole potentially traumatic experience more pleasant for you.

Before you leave home:

• Be single-minded. Finding a good bathing suit is a big deal. Give yourself plenty of time for this mission and don't convolute it with other errands or shopping needs. 
• Set goals for your suit. My priorities were coverage, comfort and cuteness. I also wanted to play up my boobs while distracting from my wide hips.  I was leaning toward  a tankini, because the bikini bottom makes it easier to pee in public restrooms, while the longer top covers the tummy, but can be rolled up for tanning. You'll have your own criteria. 
• If you have no idea what styles look best for your figure, do some online research.
• Wear appropriate attire. I recommend you wear tiny undies - stuffing my boyshort briefs into bikini bottoms was not fun - big jewelry, and beachy shoes with a heel (shove 'em in your purse if it's not sandal weather.)

My pick: La Blanca Tankini
Image via Lord and Taylor

At the Mall:

• Find a store with a pleasing environment and a BIG selection of swimsuits. You need lots of options! I had found some suits I liked on Bloomingdale's website, but their in-store selection was disappointingly thin. Macy's had a huge assortment, but the department was messy, loud and chaotic - and seemed geared to 13 year-olds. I ended up at Lord &Taylor, which had a nice selection of chic styles and large, clean dressing rooms.
• Plan to try on many, many suits. Grab anything that you think might meet your criteria in a size at least one size bigger than your dress size. If you are normally an 8, start with a 10 and go from there. If you're trying on separates, you may need to mix and match. My bottom is a size bigger than my top!

In the Dressing Room

• Trust me on this - do not look in the mirror until the suit is fully on! Watching yourself squirm into a suit in bad lighting is not good for your self image. 
• Go easy on yourself. You are bound to try some suits that look simply terrible. I tried on a Miraclesuit that sucked in my waist like a corset, but squished my boobs as well. The last time I saw my breasts that flat, I was getting a mammogram. Remember - if you look awful, it's the suit's fault, not yours. 
• As you try everything on, be honest about what styles really flatter you, and readjust. For example, I thought I wanted a strapless bandeau or halter top, but those suits didn't give the lift my bust requires  to look perky. Well... perky-ish.
• When you find a suit that looks good, hang it on the "yes" hook and finish trying the others. If it's still one of your favorites, try it on a final time and examine yourself from every angle. Get really critical. Is it the best color for you? Can you swim in it? Is it gaping or pulling? Are you sure you don't need a different size? Then, If you still like the suit, buy it immediately and don't look back.

My Suit!

• I found I liked tops with sewn-in cups (without those little cup liners that are always sliding around) and wide, uplifting straps. I also developed a passion for ruching, because the gathered material covers a lot of lumps and bumps.
• In the end, I bought the red shirred La Blanca Tankini pictured above. The top cost $97 (ouch) and the bottoms $39 for a total of $136 plus tax.  It's not the sexiest, flashiest suit, but it's cute, it fits well, and I think I'll feel comfortable wearing it poolside with my 45 new best friends. After a couple stong margaritas, that is.

Are you going doing some swimsuit shopping this Spring? I'd love to hear about your experience and the suit you score!

April Update: here's a picture of me in Mexico wearing the suit. I was very happy with it - felt very comfortable whether sunning, snorkling, swimming or jet skiing. That forgiving pleating became even more important over the course of week as my intake of margaritas, guacamole and tacos went unchecked. Ole!

3 Reasons Women Look Better With Age

There's no avoiding it; our appearance is destined to change as we grow older.  Many of us dread the signs of aging because we've bought into the media hype that natural conditions like gray hair and wrinkles are ugly and unacceptable.

Well, I'm here to present an alternate view. Looking older does not mean looking worse! Women in their forties, fifties and beyond can look fantastic while still looking our age. We may not be as firm or unlined as we were in our 20s,  but we have some distinct advantages over our younger selves.

1. We've grown into our looks. As full-fledged women, our appearance expresses not only our heredity, but our personality, character and values. We've lost the baby fat, so to speak, and are emerging as distinctive, unique individuals. We're growing to look more authentically like ourselves - the glorious women we're meant to be - and nothing is more attractive  than that.

  

Coco Chanel

As Coco Chanel famously said, "Nature gives you the face you have at twenty; it is up to you to merit the face you have at fifty."

2. We're more confident. When we were young we blossomed with health and energy yet were plagued by doubts and insecurities. Now that we're older, we're past all the bullshit of asking for permission or caring what people think. We've got purpose and conviction and an agenda, dammit, and we're not looking to be rescued. This self-assuredness that comes with years is magnetic and sexy, and is cited as a main reason younger men say they are drawn to older women.

There's a kind of confidence that comes when you're in your 40s and 50s, and men find that incredibly attractive.”
Peggy Northrup, former Editor More Magazine

3. We have a better sense of style. Women over forty have learned how to dress. We've come to terms with our bodies and our lives and understand the styles and colors that work best for us. Once, we were tempted by the latest trends; now we invest in clothes that flatter, uplift and last. Oh boy, when I think of some of the awful looks I've sported over the years, I shudder. It took me a few decades to finally get it - I'm curvy and short. Pleated pants, loud prints, capris, ruffles, and shoulder pads might look good on a tall, lanky chicks, but they're banished from my wardrobe for ever. As are perms. Yikes.

For examples of all sorts of women who look better in their 40s and 50's than they ever did in their 20s, check out this gallery from More Magazine.  For fun, I've included some pics of my own.

Me at age 25

Me now, 48

And if you are over 40 and aren't feeling all that fabulous - girl, now's the time to shake things up! Here are some other posts that might interest you:

10 Items You Need to Have in Your Wardrobe

Weighing in on the Scale of Success

Facing Facts About My Face

Feline Fantasy (why I want to be a Cougar)

I've got a GILT-y Shopping Habit

Are you in the habit of shopping online? I'm in love with Gilt right now. Thursday, I was invited to a swanky Gilty Kids cocktail party at the Trump Tower's rooftop bar by my blogging brand ambassador friend Meredith Sinclair of hoo-dee-hoo.com fame. In addition to the yummy drinks and tantalizing appetizers, we guests were treated to a $100 Gilt gift certificate. So now I'm obsessed with finding the perfect object on which to blow my wad.

Yesterday I considered this Chan Luu bracelet for $110 (reg. $250)

Today I salivated over this Nanette Lepore handbag at $149 (reg. $295):

The deals are great and the designers delicious, but in the world of Gilt, if you snooze you lose, and now both of these coveted items are sold out. I can get on the waiting list, but something better might come along tomorrow. And I haven't even begun to explore the stuff for the home, or the gifts or the restaurants.

But I intend to use this gift card by the end of the week. I'll report back with my purchase!

Gilt Update as of 6/25! Here is what I bought with my gift card - a Berge Burgundy Ponyhair Belt for $95 (regularly $182.) I know it's not very summery, but I love the color, don't have anything like it, and can see myself wearing it ALL the time. It also comes in black and leopard. 

11 Things I Learned from Cleaning Out My Closet

I actually will wear all of these things.

I've been goofing around, telling myself that sorting my purse and washing my car are worthy organization projects. But finally I've tackled my clothes closet, and man was it worth it.

I followed my organizing guru Colleen's instructions:

• Put all like items together (i.e. jeans, sweaters, etc.)
• Edit ruthlessly according to these three criteria: 1) Does it have purpose, 2) is it meaningful, 3) do I love it?  In honor of my midlife crisis,  I also added this one  -  Does it represent the me I want to become?
• Get rid of anything that didn't meet at least one of the criteria. 
• Organize the keepers

The organizing was a cake walk compared to the torture of editing. Each piece that didn't measure up felt like a failure. But I did it. I took every single t-shirt, every shoe, every skirt, every belt out of my closet and determined if it merited a place in my new life. So many things didn't. 

The process was like therapy. Not only did I learn how to set up a workable closet - I learned some surprising things about myself. If you're like me, here are 11 things you can expect from cleaning out your closet.

1. You'll feel fat. Trying on every article of clothing you own is daunting. After the first 15 minutes of wriggling and fastening and tugging and inspecting, I felt so blubbery, I had to go weigh myself to make sure I hadn't gained five pounds since breakfast. I hadn't, but, ugh.
2. You'll feel stupid. Why did I spend so much money on that Elie Tahari jacket that I never wear because it's as itchy as burlap? Why do I own seven black cardigan sweaters? Facing the evidence of poor decisions and wasted money is sickening. At one point I found myself moaning.
3. You'll have changed. My black mini skirt is not only too small, it's ridiculous. I had some really good times wearing it, but for many reasons, skirts that short don't have a place in my future. Sigh. Goodbye mini-skirt wearing me. 
4. You'll confront your life.  I actually have some nice clothes but I rarely wear them because I never go anywhere that requires dressing up. "I need to go more fun places!" I wailed to my 14 year-old daughter, Emma. "Why don't you call your girlfriends and go have coffee?" she suggested. Which I thought was funny because, sweetie, I need to go someplace a lot more exciting than Starbucks.
5. You'll need a good friend. Certain items paralyzed me. Should I keep the expensive Teri Jon evening suit that's perfect for the black tie business functions I never attend? What about the flowy leopard print tunic - is it sexy or scary? I ended up making a "maybe" pile, then asked my friend Lisa to go through it with me.  With her help, I was able to make the tough calls. The suit stays because it looks good and serves a specific purpose - the tunic is out. Thanks Lisa!
6. You'll need an entire day. You will, just trust me.
7. You'll get on a roll. As I got into a rhythm,  the decisions got easier. I had no trouble getting rid of anything itchy or binding, turtlenecks (very sweltering during hot flashes), anything dull brown or wide striped, and all capris and dingy white tees. 
8. You'll feel better in heels. I tried on everything wearing heels or boots. Honey, if it doesn't make the cut when you're three inches taller, it's out!
9. You'll want new hangers. Once you've edited, hang up everything you can. Hanging garments are easier to see and stay unwrinkled. I hung almost all my street clothes - even t-shirts. It's very satisfying to have a closet full of clothes you feel good about displayed on matching hangers. I bought a box of 50 velvety space saving hangers at Costco and they are awesome! Nothing slips off these streamlined babies - I wish I'd bought another box. 
10. You'll organize your way. There are many opinions about the best way to organize your closet. Some experts advise grouping your clothes by outfit; others say to put all similar colors together. I decided to sort mine by type of garment - all tanks in one area, all jackets in another, etc - and I mixed up the colors so they'd stand out from one another (helps with my ongoing vision problem.) I also put several plastic shoe boxes in my deep lingerie and sock drawers so I could subdivide them. Now all my panties are in one place. I love it.
11. You'll feel great. I'm telling you, I am basking in the afterglow of my organized closet. I feel so productive, so virtuous, so clean! I arranged for a charity to pick up my discards and I have not a single regret about the six bags of stuff I donated. Getting dressed is more fun now, and - because I like everything and can see it - I actually feel like I have more clothes.

Clothes for donation, ready for pick up.

So don't procrastinate like I did. Go forth, my Forty Fabulous friends, and confront your closet! You'll feel fantastic when it's done, I promise.

Fashion Basics - Take clothes you already own and turn them into 3 great looks!

Think you've got nothing to wear? Well think again, because in this quick video, Midge Wegener (a stylist from one of Michelle Obama's favorite retailers) shows us how to take basic items we already own and mix them with a few pieces to create a variety of fashionable looks.  If you want to  take your wardrobe and jazz it up, dress it up, or bling it out - for Fall or the holidays - click here for inspiration.

Tips from the Style Pros

While shooting my Spring fashion video last week (see below), I gleaned some great tidbits of fashion advice from my go-to stylist expert, Kate Shifrin, and Jamie and Renata who work at Frances Heffernan (the awesome boutique that provided all the clothes.) I couldn't fit all the info into the video, so here's some bonus insider tips for you to consider here.

1. Pose like Beyonce

Ever see a picture of yourself and think "Ewww, I look so heavy"? Well, no more. Kate Shifrin showed me how to pose like a pro on the red carpet and in this quick video, I'll show you. The trick to looking thin? It's all in the angles.

2. Bling it On

Jamie and Renata want to encourage women to put a little glitz into their everyday outfits. Sequins, rhinestones, and metallics are not just for evening anymore. Whether it's embellished shoes or a big sparkly ring, don't be afraid to dazzle during the day.

3. One is Never Enough

Think multiples this Spring. Layered necklaces are all the rage, but that's not all. Jamie and Renata say that wearing light-weight tees and tanks in all sorts of combinations is really "in" this season.

3. Hello Heels

Jamie, Renata, and Kate all agree that women look best in high heels and wish we'd wear them more often. Heels elongate the leg, tighten the calf, improve posture and make us look thinner. Nude or natural colored heels are especially flattering. I know, high heels aren't always practical, and many of us have sore or injured tootsies. But Jamie says, "wear 'em when you can!" To illustrate the difference they make on a petite (okay, short) woman like me, check out this video.

What to Wear (and NOT wear) this Spring

Wondering how to make the key trends of Spring - florals, short hemlines, ruffles and denim - work for you? In this short video, stylist Kate Shifrin tells us how real women can wear this season's freshest looks, and what to watch out for if you're not built like a runway model (I'm certainly not!) 

10 Items You Need to Have in Your Wardrobe

No matter how old we are or what shape we're in, we all deserve to look our best. In this 2-minute video, stylist Kate Shifrin is back, showing us the 10 basic pieces that every woman needs to have in her wardrobe. Take a look, then go out and shop with confidence. With these items in your closet, you'll always be well dressed!

Qualities that make a woman a '10' in Warren's book

I sat at the bar at Bluestone last week with Warren-the-man-who-loves-women, feeling a little nervous. In 30 minutes, Regina, the wild, outspoken chick from The Posse, would join us. Two of my divorced and dating subjects, who I'd been writing about since September, were about to meet in real life!

The point of getting together was a joint interview, not a fix up, but I still hoped they'd like each other. While we were waiting for Regina to arrive, I had a few more questions for Warren. Specifically, what are men looking for in women and even more key - what turns them off?

Just to remind you, in the 17 years since his divorce, Warren has dated hundreds of women. I figured a guy who has had so many relationships is an expert in the ebb and flow of attraction. As usual, Warren was happy to share his thoughts on the matter.

Here are the qualities that can turn a woman who might otherwise rate a 6 or 7 into a full-on, Bo Derek "10" for Warren.

1. In Style

Warren looked around the bar. "Some of these women dress like men," he pronounced. "They look like they ordered their outfits from L.L. Bean." Warren, a sharp dresser himself, appreciates women who make an effort to look cute while being tasteful and age-appropriate.

"I don't care how good your body is, you shouldn't have your thong hanging out. It looks ridiculous."

2. Funny Girls

"I love funny," said Warren. "You have to be smart to be funny, and smart is sexy." Warren is a funny guy, so he doubly understands the appeal. "Girls love funny too," he said, a twinkle in his eye.

3. Very Interesting

"I don't always go out with gorgeous women," said Warren, "I can get just as infatuated with an average looking girl who has something to teach me." He told me about a woman he adored who was rather plain, but knew everything about modern art.

"A woman who can show me something new - now that's hot!"

Warren insists that guys aren't looking for bimbos when it comes to relationships that last more than a few hours. Did you hear that single chicks? What men want is for you to dress classy and flaunt your gorgeous wits - not your tits.

Now what qualities turn a guy off? Warren had no trouble naming those either. He's put off by women who 1) act fake or misrepresent themselves, 2) are in constant need of reassurance and 3) want to control or change him.

I wanted to ask Warren to elaborate, but just then, Regina entered the bar - late, breathless and fabulously frazzled. Check back next time when Regina and Warren meet! Trust me, their conversation is anything but dull.

What's in For Spring

In this three minute video Kate Shifrin gives us a peek at the key fashion trends for Spring. Winter is almost over gals - it's time to come out of the closet in color!