Love with a younger man - how much difference does age make?

This is the second part of a story about Nora, a beautiful actress who fell in love with a much younger man. For part 1, scroll down or click here.

You know the stereotypical Cougar relationship where the predatory, well-preserved woman seduces a hot young stud, tutors him in the ways of love, and trots him around to chic bistros and art galleries until the attraction wears off?

Nora and James' relationship was nothing like that.

Since they were friends before they dated, Nora, 46, and James, 30, had a lot in common from the start. Both worked in the arts, they shared many of the same interests and goals. And unlike Nora's prior lover, kids weren't an issue for James - he didn't want any.

Within just a few dates, Nora was crazy about James and they fell into an intimate, laid-back routine. They spent all their free time together, working out, riding bikes, writing, cooking and hanging out at the farmers' market. In LA, eclectic couples were everywhere; Nora didn't feel self-conscious about being with a guy who was obviously younger.

She certainly didn't feel intellectually superior to James - he was the one who taught her things. He taught her how to text message, helped fix things around the house, and even helped her write the screenplay she was working on.

"He made my life so much easier," she said. And he adored her.

He asked Nora, "Did you ever think you'd be loved so much?"

Sigh.

James wasn't the tall, dark and handsome type Nora usually fell for. He was boyishly charming, but when he took off his clothes, he was all man. Not only was he ripped, he was.... well, as Nora put it, "I could see where he got his confidence."

Their love life was very, um, satisfying. Eventually they moved in together.

Their relationship flourished for over a year in California, but James wanted to pursue his writing career back in Boston. He begged Nora to move there with him.

Things were different after they moved. Their simple LA lifestyle was staggeringly expensive in Boston. James had to work at three different jobs just to pay the bills. Nora wasn't getting much work as an actress and took a job as an administrative assistant in a medical office. She thought about going back to school.

Their jobs kept them so busy they rarely saw one another. Through his work, James made a lot of new friends who he hung out with after hours. Nora felt excluded and lonely.

When James suggested she apply to school in Chicago to be closer to her kids, Nora knew it was the beginning of the end. Ten days after she moved to Chicago, he broke up with her on the phone.

That was a year ago. Nora hasn't seen him since.

"It doesn't work out with younger men," she told me. "Men in their 30's change."

She wonders now if James didn't want to introduce her to his new friends in New York because she was so much older.

Nora isn't entirely over James but she's moving on with her life in Chicago. She's working, studying and has reconnected with her family and friends. She has even dated a couple of guys her own age, which has been an adjustment after being with hard-bodied James for four years.

"I went out with a 52 year old man and when he kissed me good night, his big belly made contact before his lips. I went inside my house and cried."

Nora isn't interested in another young guy, but she would like a man who is fit and healthy and takes care of himself, like she does. For now, she's in no hurry.

"I've decided not to be looking. I need to get whole as a person."

Warren, the man who loves women. Many women.

I've been talking with a lot of divorced men lately, but I can't quite think of Warren as one of them. He was married briefly in his early 30's, but he has been single for so long, he's really more of a bachelor.

Ah, a bachelor. What a devil-may-care, rogueish, sexy term. There's really no female equivalent, is there? The term "bachelorette" is only used for the TV show or the traditional pre-wedding hen party; both are precursors to the ultimate goal of marriage. No one says "she's an eligible bachelorette" or "she has a bachelorette pad." More often than not, the word used to describe a single, socially adventurous, carefree female is "slut." Still I'd take that crude word over the dried-up, old-maid legal term "spinster." But I digress.

Warren is the ultimate bachelor. He's fun, he's hip, he drives a cool car, he wears cool clothes, he has a great condo in a Gold Coast high rise. He made enough money trading when the market was good that he's pretty much retired. He just turned 50, but you'd never know it from his impish grin and full head of jet black hair.

"I don't dye my hair," was one of the first things he told me over lunch last week. The second thing he told me was that threesomes aren't all they're cracked up to be. All righty then. I could tell this was going to be interesting. But first I wanted to hear about his ex- wife.

"She was nice, but cold," Warren said."I wanted more of a physical and emotional connection, but she came from a rigid background and couldn't give me what I needed. We were emotionally incompatible."

As their relationship cooled from lukewarm to downright frosty, they mutually decided to go their separate ways. With no kids, the divorce was quick. Since their split 17 years ago, Warren has dated hundreds of women. Yup. Hundreds.

Warren isn't a rock star or a professional basketball player, so you might wonder how he gets all the chicks. Well, for starters, he's honestly interested in women - all types of women. For him, a woman is a fascinating puzzle who's worth making the effort to solve.

"I like girls, I love them," he said. "I notice things about them, pay attention, and I'm happy to do it. It's like giving a present, and it makes me feel good - putting in the time is fun, it's not work for me."

His curiosity and attention pay off, because wherever he goes - coffee shops, grocery stores, nightclubs - women respond to him. They talk to him, open up to him, and sometimes (after a shockingly short amount of time) go home with him.

"I call those encounters manslaughter," he said, laughing. "I had no intent to pick anyone up, it just happened." For Warren, the world is a friendly place.

He's an extremely confident and engaging man, but if you think he sounds like a heartless womanizer, he really isn't. Warren has had his share of hurt and disappointments too.

Sometimes a woman he'd been crazy about broke things off with him. Other times he jumped in too quickly, only to find out that the woman wasn't who he thought she was. Over time, he's learned to do due diligence, take things more slowly. Still, Warren thinks taking chances is what life's all about.

"Life's a risk," he said. "If you can't live it with bravado and zest, then what's the point?"

At the time of our lunch, Warren had been seeing a woman seriously for two months, and he doesn't cheat on his girlfriends. However, from his years on the dating scene, he's learned a lot about women, relationships, and romance. Check back next time to hear his views on a variety of intriguing subjects, including why men date younger women and the controversial male ass-grab.

(For more on my series on divorce and dating, please scroll down to my older posts!)