Feel Better About Your Body in 5 Minutes

Stand up straight, gorgeous!

We talked a lot about body image at my last Sex & the Suburbs show at the Wilmette Theatre. Often women allow feeling badly about their bodies - too jiggly, too old, too flawed - to prevent them from enjoying sex and all kinds of physical pleasure. Well, screw that! Here are three things you can do in the next five minutes to feel better about your body, just the way it is.

1. Move to Music.
One of the most fun things to do with your body is to dance it! It's a physical celebration of being alive and there's no way you can feel bad when you're grooving. Put on your favorite song and shake, shimmy, stretch and bend for three minutes. I'm loving this Bruno Mars tune. Hit play and get your dance on.

Bruno Mars - Locked Out Of Heaven - www.SongsLover.pk

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2. Stand up Straight
Stop slumping over your keyboard or smart phone (caught you, didn't I?). Throw back your shoulders, suck in your tummy, and lift your chin. Not only does this move immediately make you feel stronger and more confident, it makes you look five pounds thinner, as my personal trainer friend Sharon Davis demonstrates in seconds, below. It's quite a transformation.



3. Talk Yourself Up
Put a halt to the undermining negative self-talk with this one-minute exercise. With your new perfect posture, saunter over to the mirror, look your reflection in the eye, and give yourself an extravagant compliment. Make it something you'd love to hear about your appearance. Something like this:

• You're the most gorgeous, luscious babe on the face of the earth.
• You are strong, you are beautiful, you are freaking awesome!
• Damn, you are one sexy, hot, ripe-peach mama!
• You are looking perfectly, radiantly, deliciously you.

Say it three times to yourself, loud and proud. Feels good right? Words have power and using positive affirmations like these creates a forcefield against all the negativity we are bombarded with each day. 

Okay, the five minutes are up! Now go forth and conquer with your brilliant brain, your bodacious bod, and your courageous heart. The world needs women who feel good about themselves and are willing to play big.

Want more feel-good suggestions? Read my column  - How to Feel Your Most Sexy Self.

Shut Up Gremlins, I Know What I'm Doing

I generally have a positive outlook, but sometimes - when I get criticized, lose focus, hit a roadblock or tackle something new - doubts, worries and anxious self-talk will creep into my head.  Life coach Carol Moss calls these undermining thoughts "gremlins" and they can be vicious little monsters. Here's a sampling of the nastiness my gremlins pepper me with.

Get back in your box!

Who do you think you are?

You're ridiculous.

That's not gonna work.

No one's interested in that.

You don't have the experience.

You don't deserve it.

Your opinion doesn't matter.

You forgot something.

What will people think?

Don't stand out.

Act your age, be more ladylike.

You're fat/ugly/old/irrelevant.

You don't fit in.

When those spiteful gremlins (or some real life critic) show up and leave me feeling shaky, I've got a tried and true method for getting them back in their box - I whip out my personal mantra.

 I've used this five word phrase for years and it's nothing mystical or new age. I simply repeat to myself..

I know what I'm doing. 

I know what I'm doing.

 I know what I'm doing. 

I know what I'm doing.

This simple phrase brings me great comfort, and by placing emphasis on different words, my mantra has a wide range of reassuring meanings: I'm in control of myself, my opinion is the one that matters, I'm smart, I'm following a course of action I believe in, I'm consciously choosing what's happening to me, etc. It's awesome!

"I know what I'm doing" shuts up most of my gremlins, but you'll probably find other phrases that work better for you. For small glitches, mistakes and annoyances, I frequently mutter "It's no big deal" because most of the time, it really isn't.

I also admire Amy Poehler's proclamation (as quoted by Tina Fey in her hilarious book, Bossypants) "I don't fucking care if you like it!"