Reality shows have taken over the airwaves. The contestants of American Idol, Top Chef, America's Next Top Model and Project Runway face off in intense singing, cooking, cat-walking and fashion design competitions. Please, what a bunch of wimps. I'm proposing a reality show that's really hardcore - Top Mom: The Teen Edition.
Moms are tough cookies to begin with. In addition to nurturing, they're masters of multi-tasking and efficiency. As author Lisa Ather says, "Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease."
But motherhood hits a new level of difficulty when kids reach adolescence. Teens can be rebellious, secretive, moody and reckless - and moms have to use all their physical, mental and emotional skills to keep up.
My reality show would put macho moms in the limelight as they compete in events that test their ability to:
1) Maintain composure while teaching teen to parallel park.
2) Deliver tricky "Don't Have Sex But if You do, Use a Condom" speech.
3) Develop surveillance methods to covertly track teen's whereabouts.
4) Withstand barrages of sarcasm and disdain without losing self esteem.
5) Load minivan with drum kit, guitar, bass, amps, music stands and five 14-year-old boys (timed event.)
Even Simon Cowell would agree that performing any one of these feats requires a lot more talent and commitment than singing a pop song or preparing a souffle. Top Mom: The Teen Edition would tap into a whole demographic that is currently ignored by reality shows and appeal to advertisers like Prozac and Grey Goose vodka.
I'm calling Tyra Banks right now to give her my pitch.