Monday, May 11, 2009

My Pediatrician wants to sell me Botox and other Pet Peeves

I try to stay positive here at Forty Fabulous, but today I'm damn cranky. It could be my hormones, could be lack of sleep. Whatever the reason, I've got a few things that are bugging me and I'm gonna get them off my chest.

Peeve #1: My pediatrician wants to sell me Botox.
I've got an excellent pediatrician, the best. My kids love going to see her. The examination rooms are delightful, she's got creams and sprays so shots don't hurt, she's knowledgable, available and sympathetic. Over the years I have been grateful for her care.

But being a top-notch pediatrician must not pay, because now she's opened a side business, a Medi-Spa. At my daughter's last check-up she gave me a free estimate of how much it would cost to "freshen up." She handed me a diagram of my face covered with an alarming amount of X's - sites that could use a dose of Botox. A fresh face would cost a cool $800 every three months. Since then, I've received lovely invitations and medi-spa menus promoting her new line of services.

As my girlfriends would say, that ain't right. This woman is an amazing pediatrician; she should stay focused on taking care of the children in her practice, not exploit the vanity of their mothers. A great pediatrician is a rare find - I can get Botox at the mall.

Peeve #2: My dog doesn't love me, she's just using me for food.
Last week, the Chicago Tribune's Eric Zorn reported some cold-hearted facts: dogs don't love their owners, they merely manipulate them for their own gain. According to dog expert John Katz, "Over 15,000 years of domestication, dogs have learned to trick us into thinking they love us."

I adore my West Highland Terrier, but I suspect it's true. Though Kelly dances for joy when I walk in the door and sweetly snuggles with me on the couch in the evenings, she'd do the same for anyone with kibble in their pocket. I understand that dogs don't feel love as we humans do. But knowing that Kelly is merely a highly-evolved affection faker is a bit of a let down.

Peeve #3: The Real Housewives of New York aren't housewives.
This Bravo "reality" show may feature real women, but by no stretch of the imagination are they housewives. Not only do all these abrasive Manhattan chicks have big-time careers, their children are cared for by others and half of them aren't even married.

Of course it's more glamorous to follow women to designer fashion boutiques and charity tennis matches in the Hamptons than to show women in sweatpants folding laundry, but at least call it what it is. Because of programs like this, the word "housewife" has become synonymous with spoiled, shallow, gossipy bitch. As a mom who spent the better part of a decade putting her career on hold to focus on home and family, I object!

Oh my, I've been kvetching for too long, so I'll end here. I didn't even get to Peeve #4: Sarah Palin is Writing a Memoir or Peeve #5: I Can't Read a Menu Without a Flashlight. But you can probably fill in the blanks on those.

Got any pet peeves of your own? Post 'em here!

9 comments:

meredith said...

Great post:)
Okay, have to admitt....I LOVE the fake housewives of NYC. LOVE IT. It is the best guilty pleasure I own right now. Just DVR'd last night's catty reunion special, while I was at the Bruce concert.
I wouln't want any of them as "friends", but they thrill me to no end when paired with a glass of wine and a big comfy blanket on my couch!!
don't tell anyone.

Jim Sullivan said...

Having read your last two blogs, I'm convinced our teenagers have learned how to manipulate us for food, but the dogs REALLY love us.
-Jim

Celticred said...

I agree with Jim Sullivan! My dog loves me. I have to believe that. She's devoted, never questions my authority, eats ANYthing I put in front of her (well, except regular dog food), brings me toys (a squeaky ball, rope, half-eaten bone), and does all of it with LOVE in her eyes! I swear that's love I'm seeing. Or ... is it? Anyway, next time you go to the pediatrician bring your kids' fundraising catalog and hit her up for some wrapping paper and overpriced candy. Arf!

Marjie Killeen said...

Maybe ALL love is just need coupled with strong attachment. Whatever my dog is offering, I'll take it!

And Meredith, I love the Housewives of NYC too! But don't you think "housewives" is now becoming TV code for spoiled, rich, catty women?

wendy said...

Hmmm. I understand where you're coming from but consider this: our family friend is an OB/Gyn in Chicago. The rising costs of insurance ($127,000 annually) almost forced him to close down his clinic Recently his wife (who is an RN at the office) started offering botox to friends & family to offset insurance rates & it has helped them stay afloat. The clinic is for low-income families, primarily Hispanic, & much of his work is volunteer. I'd rather get botox for $7 per unit while helping a dedicated doctor stay in business. Unfortunately there are a lot more women who will pay for a cushy spa-like botox session that contributes to the new Mercedes toy Dr. Fancypants wants to add to his collection.

wendy said...

Hmmm. I understand where you're coming from but consider this: our family friend is an OB/Gyn in Chicago. The rising costs of insurance ($127,000 annually) almost forced him to close down his clinic Recently his wife (who is an RN at the office) started offering botox to friends & family to offset insurance rates & it has helped them stay afloat. The clinic is for low-income families, primarily Hispanic, & much of his work is volunteer. I'd rather get botox for $7 per unit while helping a dedicated doctor stay in business. Unfortunately there are a lot more women who will pay for a cushy spa-like botox session that contributes to the new Mercedes toy Dr. Fancypants wants to add to his collection.

wendy said...

P.S. Dogs love you. My Westie Sumo isn't an affection faker & I don't think your Kelly is either... We ALL do a lot of things/tricks to get food & affection : ).

Meg said...

I would have to say that it's one thing to offer botox to your friends and family, and quite another to try selling it to the parents of your patients. My ob/gyn's wife also runs his office. If I went in for an appointment I'm paying for and she tried peddling botox to me, I'd be mightily annoyed. Doctors might be feeling the pinch, but if they are going to open a side business they should look outside their practice for customers. Oh, and I asked my dog if she REALLY loves me and she licked my face. I'll take that as a "yes!"

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