Picture this: the hot model in the glossy photo is YOU

Look through your photo albums or files. Do you like the way you look? How many of your pictures portray you at your best - as radiant, confident, sexy and gorgeous?

Not many I bet. In fact, I bet you're hardly in many of them, because we women are often the ones taking the pictures of everybody else.

Yeah, the kids look cute and the scenery is beautiful. But don't we deserve to have some pictures of ourselves where we aren't squinting into the wind, serving up birthday cake, or wearing a clown costume?

 Francesca relaxes as Sylvi applies her make up.

We're surrounded with images of beautiful, sultry women like Jenifer Aniston, Christina Hendricks, and Halle Berry. But even for those lovely actresses, flattering photographs take effort. They've been professionally made up, lit, posed, and retouched.

Here on the North Shore, you can get some of that star treatment for yourself.  Sylvi Davidson and Gina Sanders of Enamour Photography in Highland Park are devoted to bringing out the inner and outer beauty of regular chicks like us and capturing it on film. Women of all ages, sizes and stages come to them for an intimate photo session designed to showcase and celebrate their unique beauty.

I had the opportunity to join them as they prepped Francesca, a 44 year-old wife and mom, for her Enamour experience.

Francesca was hesitant about doing what's known as a "boudoir photography" session at first, but she's had a tough year. Work, parenting and helping a family member through an illness had left her exhausted and stressed out.

"I'd like to do something special and intimate for myself," she said, "To remind me of who I am."

Francesca was a bit nervous about posing provocatively. "I'm worried that I might look or feel silly," she said. "But I know Gina and Sylvi will make me feel comfortable."

Gina tests the lighting for the shoot.

That's for sure.  Gina, Enamour's photographer, and creative director/make-up artist Sylvi are incredibly nurturing, positive and passionate about their work. Their goal for a shoot is to create a safe haven where their client can relax and celebrate herself.

"We make our client the center of attention - and she loves it," said Sylvi.

"We help her see all the little parts of herself that are beautiful," added Gina. "Women on the North Shore are very critical of their appearance. Here, they are lifted up, not put down."

The experience can be powerful and transforming. Many women, when they first see their portfolio and how sensuous and plain hot they look, burst into tears.

 "They've never seen themselves this way before," said Sylvi. "This is girl therapy."

Francesca was hopeful she'd feel the same way. "I feel like I look good," she said, "but I'm not that confident. I'd like to push the boundaries today. I  hope to discover something deeper about my inner self. And, I'd like to have fun!"

I didn't stay for the shoot itself, but the lead-up was nothing but fun. Sylvi applied gorgeous, dramatic make-up to Francesca, and she and Gina helped Francesca select a variety of sexy (but tasteful) outfits to pose in. While some Enamour clients do choose to pose in the nude, that wasn't Francesca's plan. Her shoot was going to be in the style of old Hollywood glamour.

"I hope I look fabulous," she said, beginning to get excited. "I'd like to have a couple nice pieces to share with my daughter one day, to show her you can be beautiful inside and out at any age."

Of course, Francesca's husband is looking forward to seeing the photographs too. Check back in a few days to see the results of Francesca's shoot as we share some of her favorite shots here.

For more information about Enamour, visit their website at www.enamourphotography.com.

Ms. Matchmaker's tips on meeting your match

Jill Rudman of Highland Park (pictured) is a professional matchmaker and she's so warm and upbeat, I almost wish I needed her services. Jill helps Chicago and North Shore singles meet the guy or gal of their dreams - or she gets pretty darn close.

Of course, Jill, AKA "Ms. Matchmaker," has her own opinions about what makes a great match.

"I do not believe that opposites attract," she told me. "I think people get along best when they come from the same background, family, religion, and have the same outlook on life."

Jill also believes a match works best when the man and woman are about the same age. Hey, what about all those hot cougar relationships I keep hearing about?

Sorry ladies, but Jill says it ain't happening.

"I'm not seeing a lot of guys looking for older women out there," she said. Bunny from the Posse was right!

Once Jill has found two people she thinks will click, she has the man call the woman to invite her out. "I'm old fashioned, I believe the man should be a gentleman, ask the woman out and pay for the first date."

What happens on the date is up to the couple. But Ms. Matchmaker has some advice for women when meeting a man for the first time. Here are her guidelines for a successful first date.

1. Dress appropriately. Men like women who take care of themselves and make an effort, but they don't like sleazy. So, don't show too much skin or slather on the make-up. Guys find this intimidating. (We've heard this same thing from Warren, a couple posts back.)

2. Be positive. Talk about the good things in your life, be interested and upbeat. By no means bash your Ex or discuss personal problems. It's way too soon; you want to make a good impression.

3. Act like a lady. Don't drink too much, smoke too much or use foul language. It might be fun, but this early in the game, it's a turnoff.

4. Give the guy a chance. Jill has had clients tell her, "he was so close, but we had no spark." Sometimes it takes a couple dates for attraction to develop - if you like him as a person, stay open.

5. Finally, be kind. Even if you're 100% sure there is no future, you still want the guy to leave feeling interested in you and having had a nice time. You might bump into him again, and who knows? He might have a friend or a brother.

To learn more about Ms. Matchmaker Jill Rudman, visit her website: www.gotdates.biz.

Dancing with the divorcees. Oh the 'Posse'-bilities!

The Posse hit Vibe in Highland Park on Friday night and I went with them. The big draw was Famos! (right) the effervescent emcee from Bizar Entertainment. Famos! developed a big following among the single set when he used to be the regular DJ at Miramar a few years ago, back when it was considered the Studio 54 of the North Shore.

When I arrived at Vibe around 8:30 p.m., the place was just beginning to fill up. Bunny, Regina, and Grace had nabbed a comfy couch and chairs right next to the dance floor in front of one of Famos!'s huge, pounding speakers. This was obviously not going to be a night for deep conversation.

"Let's dance!" screamed Regina, and began clapping and gyrating to the music, her wild curly hair streaming.

"She's like Shakira," I said, impressed. No one heard me over the pulsating beat.

Bunny and Grace jumped up to join Regina, the three of them forming an exuberant, sensual troika on an otherwise empty dance floor. The rest of Vibe's patrons and I watched from the sidelines. If I was going to be any match these chicks' crazy-dance-partying 'tude, I needed alcohol. I gulped my chardonnay and checked out the scene.

It was still early and the pickings were slim. Definitely way more women than men, and the few unattached guys weren't attractive. Bunny spun by, pointing at a big reddish-bearded dude at the bar.

"Look at that guy!" she shouted. "He looks like Man-from-Pulp-Fiction! Man-from-Mask!" I was confused; John Travolta wasn't in Mask. Oh, I realized. She meant actor Eric Stoltz.

During a break in the action, Regina got inspired. She was going to become a professional dancer for Bizar! "You know, a middle-age dancer, to get all the old guys going at weddings and bar mitzvahs!"

Soon she had secured a Bizar t-shirt from Famos! and a pair of scissors from the bartender. In minutes, Regina created a sexy, middle-age dancing girl top, which she threw on. Prancing over to Man-Who-Looks-Like-Eric-Stolz and his friends, she beckoned them out on the floor. They just shook their heads.

"I got rejected by three ugly guys!" she squealed, not one bit put out.

The room began to fill up and, loose from my guzzled drink, I jumped up to shake it to Beyonce's All the Single Ladies.

"Hey!" I yelled in Grace's ear. "There's a really hot guy standing by the bar!"

Grace (looking kind of Flash Dance in her one-shouldered top) checked him out, nodded and shrugged. "If you think a guy is cute and he's gonna come up and talk to you, you're wrong. They never make the first move. Never."

For a minute I was really offended that the hot guy would never, ever make a move on me. Then I remembered I was married. It was getting confusing out there.

Regaining my journalistic objectivity, I realized it would take one very secure dude to approach the Posse while they were getting their dance on. The women seemed so happy, so complete, so engaged - all on their own. Only the most confident, cocky hombre would dare break into this group.

Later, I told Bunny I thought the Posse might be intimidating to guys.

"Really?" she said, surprised. "Well, we must not care that much about them then."

To read more of my series on divorce & dating, page down through my blog.

Next time: If you don't properly appreciate the Posse, you must be gay.

Divorced Guys want Romance Too

After talking to Vince, Armando and Marlon, three recently divorced North Shore men, I learned that men aren't just out for sex; they want romance too. Especially after going through an ego-crushing divorce. Vince is in a new relationship and it's almost too good to be true.

Vince met this wonderful woman through friends - the bar scene was not for him. When it was clear that his marriage was finished, he asked everyone he knew to set him up. The result was an introduction to 45 year-old Claudia (not her real name) and they instantly clicked.

"There was immediate physical attraction within the first 30 seconds," said Vince. "But not only was she attractive, she was easy to talk to, with no games or pretense."

Since meeting a few months ago, their relationship has blossomed. The sex has been phenomenal, but that's not what's most exciting to Vince. He's enjoying the dance, the courtship, the romantic process that gets lost when you've been married for a long time. And, as he says,

"It's fucking nice not to be treated like an old pair of socks for a change."

As we were talking at Bluestone, Vince got a text from Claudia. With a smile, he showed it to me. On the screen were the words -"I want to spend every waking moment with you."

"Wow, that's so sweet," I said, guiltily thinking of the boring, logistical texts I send my husband.

"She's awesome." said Vince. "She has really turned things around for me." He's very, very happy; his only worry is that they may have met each other too soon.

Armando and Marlon have also been dating and they both have experienced the euphoria of sex and romance with someone new.

"The first relationship after my divorce, I thought I was getting married," said Armando, who is no longer seeing that woman. "Now I'm trying to focus on friendships so I don't need to have a relationship." (Armando was definitely feeling friendship from the Posse the night he bumped into them. "Fresh Meat!" they'd squealed as they hugged and patted him.)

Marlon has been seeing his girlfriend, who is 40, for some time now. Falling in love with her helped him rediscover the compatibility, intimacy, and sense of adventure lacking in his marriage. But now practical considerations are creeping in. His girlfriend has young kids; Marlon's are older. Does he really want to get married and start all over with a new family?

"I'm happy with the relationship as it is," he said.

Ah, that's the problem with long-term relationships, I thought. How do you maintain the romance and excitement when there are carpools to drive and garbage to take out?

I took out my cell phone and texted my husband: I want to spend every waking hour with u.

A long pause, then Liam's reply: Ok, what's the joke?

Obviously, he wasn't buying it. I guess I'll have to come up with a different approach. In the meantime, check back in a day or so for more from the men!

Scroll down to read earlier posts about the divorced dudes and the women of The Posse!

Meet 'The Posse' - a group of gorgeous, witty divorced chicks with dirt to share

Last night I laughed so hard I nearly wet my pants. I was at Flight, a surprisingly chic wine bar/bistro in Glenview, where I met three members of "The Posse," a group of 40-ish divorced women who hang out together on the North Shore.

They agreed to share some of their stories about dating the second time around on the condition that I wouldn't reveal their identities. So in this article (and articles to follow) I will refer to them by their self-chosen "bar" names. Let's meet the Posse.

Bunny - an athletic, confident blond with a body to kill for and a take-no-prisoners attitude. Her drink of choice: "Grey Goose Martini with blue cheese olives - very, very dry."

Regina - an angel-faced earthy chick with a wild mane of dark blonde curls. Drink of choice: "Something cheap and red. We divorced people are on a budget."

Grace - a chic brunette with a husky voice and a sultry smile. Her drink: "Kettle One on the rocks with splash of soda & cranberry."

These women all have kids and have been divorced for 4-5 years. And before we get into the seamy and scandalous sex stories (and trust me, they're good ones), they have one piece of advice for those of us with husbands that they want to communicate loud and clear - "STAY MARRIED!"

Bunny and Regina, who both initiated their divorces, have been surprised at how difficult divorce has been, both financially and on the kids. Even though she was "suffocating and drowning" in an unhappy marriage, Regina said she would do it differently if she could.

"I would have just stayed in the marriage and made sure my needs were met," she said. "I would have taken what I needed and not worried about him. That's what he was doing anyway."

Why? I asked her. You were clearly miserable.

"Because now I have no financial security and my kids have been raked over the coals. And he's still in my life! You think that you'll be free of your ex, but after the divorce he's stuck to you like some awful third breast - some appendage you have to carry around. The only difference is that now he isn't on my side."

Bunny agreed. "Divorce sucks," she said. "Unless you're independently wealthy or have a great job or he's beating you, I say stay married."

Grace just shrugged. Her husband had been the one to leave, so she wasn't in a position to have the same regrets.

Bunny told her, "At least your ex-husband feels responsible for you and wants to take care of you and make sure you and the kids are okay."

Grace said, "I think he still kind of likes me."

Married women, you've been officially warned. The Posse doesn't want to glamorize their situations, okay? Divorce is tough stuff that doesn't end once the papers are signed. But there is one result of ending their marriages that all three women agree was very fun - the sexual reawakening.

That's what I'll write about next time. So stay tuned....