Love with a younger man - how much difference does age make?

This is the second part of a story about Nora, a beautiful actress who fell in love with a much younger man. For part 1, scroll down or click here.

You know the stereotypical Cougar relationship where the predatory, well-preserved woman seduces a hot young stud, tutors him in the ways of love, and trots him around to chic bistros and art galleries until the attraction wears off?

Nora and James' relationship was nothing like that.

Since they were friends before they dated, Nora, 46, and James, 30, had a lot in common from the start. Both worked in the arts, they shared many of the same interests and goals. And unlike Nora's prior lover, kids weren't an issue for James - he didn't want any.

Within just a few dates, Nora was crazy about James and they fell into an intimate, laid-back routine. They spent all their free time together, working out, riding bikes, writing, cooking and hanging out at the farmers' market. In LA, eclectic couples were everywhere; Nora didn't feel self-conscious about being with a guy who was obviously younger.

She certainly didn't feel intellectually superior to James - he was the one who taught her things. He taught her how to text message, helped fix things around the house, and even helped her write the screenplay she was working on.

"He made my life so much easier," she said. And he adored her.

He asked Nora, "Did you ever think you'd be loved so much?"

Sigh.

James wasn't the tall, dark and handsome type Nora usually fell for. He was boyishly charming, but when he took off his clothes, he was all man. Not only was he ripped, he was.... well, as Nora put it, "I could see where he got his confidence."

Their love life was very, um, satisfying. Eventually they moved in together.

Their relationship flourished for over a year in California, but James wanted to pursue his writing career back in Boston. He begged Nora to move there with him.

Things were different after they moved. Their simple LA lifestyle was staggeringly expensive in Boston. James had to work at three different jobs just to pay the bills. Nora wasn't getting much work as an actress and took a job as an administrative assistant in a medical office. She thought about going back to school.

Their jobs kept them so busy they rarely saw one another. Through his work, James made a lot of new friends who he hung out with after hours. Nora felt excluded and lonely.

When James suggested she apply to school in Chicago to be closer to her kids, Nora knew it was the beginning of the end. Ten days after she moved to Chicago, he broke up with her on the phone.

That was a year ago. Nora hasn't seen him since.

"It doesn't work out with younger men," she told me. "Men in their 30's change."

She wonders now if James didn't want to introduce her to his new friends in New York because she was so much older.

Nora isn't entirely over James but she's moving on with her life in Chicago. She's working, studying and has reconnected with her family and friends. She has even dated a couple of guys her own age, which has been an adjustment after being with hard-bodied James for four years.

"I went out with a 52 year old man and when he kissed me good night, his big belly made contact before his lips. I went inside my house and cried."

Nora isn't interested in another young guy, but she would like a man who is fit and healthy and takes care of himself, like she does. For now, she's in no hurry.

"I've decided not to be looking. I need to get whole as a person."

Sam Part 2 - Becoming a better man

Back at the Happ Inn, I continued my conversation with Sam, a divorced North Shore contractor who had numerous affairs when he was married.

"My best buddies are married and they're all cheating," said Sam. " They come home from work after a tough day and all they get from their wives is nagging. So they go out to get some attention and have someone treat them nice. Look."

He gestured to a couple of his apparently married pals who, sure enough, were flirting and laughing with a group of vivacious women who were a lot younger and cuter than those wormy cheaters deserved.

Bunny came over to join us and Sam put his arm around her seductively.

"Hey. Remember when we made out in the bathroom that time?" he asked. "You were hot."

Bunny nodded. "I'd just broken up with my boyfriend and I was a mess. First I made out with Sam in the bathroom, then I made out with Regina at the table. Then I threw up."

Sam grinned. "Bunny is a very attractive woman," he told me, then turned back to her. "You should go on a date with me. You'd probably like me."

Bunny shrugged. "I probably wouldn't. But I'll go on a date with you." She flitted off again.

This bar talk was all very flip but I knew there had to be more.

"Do you think you'll ever fall in love?" I asked Sam.

"Yes, and I'll tell you how." His said earnestly. "I have a lot of woman friends and I'm trying to learn from them how to become a perfect guy."

Wow, that was pretty ambitious. How was he doing that?

"I go shoe shopping with them and stuff, hang out. I listen to them talk, hear what they want from guys. I fucked up all my past relationships because I was so naive. I didn't get the picture. Women need to be stroked. I get the picture now. "

Sam seemed genuinely baffled by women and sincere in his efforts to figure them out. My heart melted a degree or two.

"My friend Denise says I'm a great guy," he said, shaking his head. "I just need to find the right woman."

It was sort of pathetic, but it was also kind of sweet. At least the guy was trying - unlike his ringless friends over in the corner. I waved goodbye to Gracie, Bunnny and Warren.

It was time for this married chick to head home.