Reiki Rocks Part 2 - I'm Attuned to Energy

You wouldn't know it to look at me, but I'm a certified level 1 Reiki energy healer. Yep, after a two-day course with the luminescent Laurie Goldstein, who I first wrote about two years ago, I can direct the flow of  life force energy through my palms into my body, your body, my dog, even my food. Seriously!

And I'm not the only one. Reiki is spreading like wildfire on the North Shore. Due to Laurie and other teachers in the area, there are a growing number of energy healers in my 'hood. There were five of us in my class, including a doctor who took the course because over her long career as an internist she has realized that when it comes to healing, medicine alone can only go so far.

Look, I'm not religious or even particularly spiritual, but I'm at the point in my life when I find it more interesting to be openminded than closed. It only makes sense that human beings are made of energy and that an intelligent energy surrounds and supports us. To some it's God, to others it's nature, but for sure, life is energy. If this whole idea is too far out there for you, I totally get it. This is new to me too. But according to Laurie, it doesn't matter what you believe for Reiki to work. It just does.

In class we learned that Reiki energy is a force that promotes health and well being, but it's not a miracle cure or a medicine. It boosts the body's ability to heal itself by clearing negative energy in the body, mind, emotions and spirit - all of which can contribute to illness or pain. Reiki practitioners direct the flow of universal energy through their palms into the chakras (energy centers) of their clients, either by laying their hands on the body or just over the body. There's no rubbing or massage involved and everybody stays clothed.

It's only been a few weeks since my Reiki Level 1 certification course, and I still know very little about it. I've tried it on my husband and kids a few times to help with their sports injuries. They humor me as I position my hands over different points of their body. I'm not sure what effect it has had yet, but I think they like the attention. I've tried to infuse my dog with Reiki, but she's too restless to sit still for it. Or maybe I'm the restless one. Giving Reiki requires patience.

The biggest success I've had so far is giving myself Reiki, especially when I wake up in the middle of the night. Nothing is worse than waking up at 2 a.m. tossing and turning, worried that you'll never get  back to sleep. I don't have that problem any more. Now I just breathe deeply and place my Reiki attuned palms over my eyes, my head, my throat, my heart, my stomach  - and within minutes I'm blissfully asleep again. This alone makes the two-day class totally worth it.

Given my other area of interest I couldn't resist asking Laurie about integrating Reiki into lovemaking, but in her extensive study and coursework, that issue has never come up. Hmm, sounds like an opportunity to me.

If you'd like to know more, visit Laurie's Reiki Rising Facebook page, or check out Reiki.org. You can read my original post about my first Reiki experience right here.

Forget Timberlake, it's Older Women Bringing Sexy Back

 I'm reading an encouraging little book called The Secret Pleasures of Menopause by Dr. Christiane Northrup that has cheered me up about getting older. According to this prominent OB/Gyn and recent research, we women have a lot to look forward to between the sheets in middle age and beyond!

 Here are a couple excerpts from the book I'd like to pass on:

"The first idea you need to cast aside is the cultural myth that sex drive inevitably decreases after menopause. This simply is not true. The latest research shows that women in their 60s and 70's have the best sex of their lives."

According to a 2007 survey of 3000 men and women aged 57-85, "not only were most of those surveyed still sexually active, but the average frequency of sex was 2-3 times per month - the same frequency that younger adults report."

"Women aged 55 and older enjoy sex more and put more thought and effort into their sex lives than women the same age a decade ago. ... The researchers explain the difference in this way: Women who've reached midlife and beyond feel younger, are more open about their sexual needs, and are more interested in health."

Also, the study showed that a robust sex life has "less to do with how old you are and more to do with how healthy you are."

It's no secret that sex and health have a reciprocal relationship - the better you feel, the more sex you have and the more sex you have, the better you feel. The very good news is that age doesn't affect this equation.

So to celebrate, I'll propose a toast - To your health!

Picturing Perfect Breasts

The site of mammogram #2

The universe has clearly been messing with me. In a month when I've been focusing on dealing with my changing body, I received a wake up call that put the issue in perspective.

Last week I went to get my annual mammogram, which is always a little stressful, because my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer 12 years ago (she has been cancer free since then.) To compensate for the worry, I book my mammogram at the center at Nordstrom so I can treat myself to a little shopping afterward.

Anyway, my mammogram was routine, or so I thought, until I received the test results online the next day, which included this ominous news.

In the left breast, question is raised of a focal asymmetry in the far
posterior central breast as seen on the MLO image only. This is seen
overlying the pectoralis muscle and could relate to overlap of normal
structures. 

IMPRESSION:
Questioned asymmetry in the central left breast, as above. Additional
imaging, which may include ultrasound, is recommended.

My doctor confirmed that the "asymmetry" in my left breast required follow up, but she didn't seem to be very concerned. I made the appointment at Evanston Hospital and vowed to only think positive thoughts.

My breasts are definitely not as full or perky as they once were - but for the next six days I began to think about them in a whole new way. I studied them in the mirror, all whole and natural and smooth and unscathed. "You're perfect," I told them, "I will never insult you again."

I dressed them up, wearing my nicest, frilliest bras - the zebra print, the red lace one. They deserved it! I closed my eyes and visualized my boobs as filled with golden light.  I focused on my left breast, trying to feel it from the inside out. "Asymetrical, humph" I grumbled, "You're just a little bigger." I planned a fun weekend- we got Bulls tickets, I had a massage.

But six days turned out to be a long time to stay positive. Dark thoughts would flit across my mind. I knew all too well from my mom's experience what breast cancer treatment would mean. It was rough and it was scary and it was damn inconvenient. I have plans! I'm in a show, we're going on vacation, I have work!

Not to mention the fear of that death thing. And my children growing up without a mother. And the stress it would place on my poor husband. And - argh! Back to the golden light-filled tits. I was sure nothing was wrong!

"I'm scared." I confided to my husband.

"I know," he said. "But get the test and we'll take it from there."

Without saying a word, he rearranged his schedule so he could work from home. Just in case.

Yesterday, At the breast health center at the hospital, the nice technologist showed me my films and pointed out a small dark spot.

"Here's what we're going to take another look at," she said. "It could be nothing, but we want to be sure."

She took a few new shots of my flattened left breast and took them off to the radiologist.

"The doctor wants to proceed to the ultrasound, but isn't that concerned."

Despite no one being very concerned, my heart pounded like a jackhammer and sweat dripped from my deodorant free armpits. I anxiously scanned the doctor's face while she scanned my chest.

"Do you see anything?"

She turned off the machine and looked at me.

"Nothing." she said. "You're fine. It's just a blood vessel. Come back in a year."

Oh the relief! I wanted to burst into song.

In the changing room I texted my husband, my mother and two friends, "I'm fine!" Of course I was; I knew it all along.

But I did learn a couple things from the experience.

• First, medical tests suck, even when no one is all that "concerned."
• Second, I have a new perspective about my minor health issues. Hot flashes, declining vision, vitamin D deficiency? Shoot, honey, those are the natural, piddly consequences of living to middle age. Get over yourself and stop whining.
• Third, my body is freaking awesome, and I am going to fully appreciate it. 

And now, my breasts, my blood vessels and I are off to have a great day.

Treat your body to something hot and steamy

The view from inside
 my steam shower.

I didn't have to look far for my latest body treatment, it's been in my bathroom all along. The steam shower.

I've never used the steam function in our walk-in shower; it just seemed like a hassle. Who has time in the morning? And in the evening the last thing I want to do is get all sweaty and have to redry my hair. But now that I'm getting physical, flipping the switch and hopping in my shower seemed worth a try.

I placed a towel on the tile bench seat, sat down and took a few deep breaths of hot, moist air.  The gloomy stillness made me feel a little anxious. I mean, when I take a shower I'm very task oriented - lathering, rinsing, exfoliating, shaving. Here in the same glassed-in stall, there was nothing to do except breathe and feel really naked.

I also felt a little lonely.  I don't know if it was caused by the elemental nature of the steam, but I had this primal urge to be surrounded by women from my ancestral tribe. Do the Welsh people have a tradition of steambaths? I wondered. I grabbed a bottle of conditioner, worked a big dollop through my hair and felt immediately better. I was multi-tasking! I leaned back and closed my eyes and let the steam do it's thing.

After about 15 minutes I was slick with sweat, my face was flushed, and my heart began to thump. I'd had enough. I turned on the shower and the contrast of the cool water to the cloying steam was deliciously refreshing.

After I toweled off and slipped into my pajamas, I felt warm and rosy and clean. And I must say, my skin glowed.

I liked how I felt so much, I've steamed a couple times more (Dr. Andrew Weil author of 8 Weeks to Optimum Health recommends three time a week.) To combat boredom I browse catalogues and old magazines - things that I'm just about ready to toss, because they do get soggy in there. I also shave my legs, because the steam allows for a really close shave.

I did a little digging and discovered there are many benefits to steam bathing, such as:

1. Flushes toxins from the body
2. Relaxes muscles and joints - recovery from a workout, help with arthritis
3. Clears out sinus and helps with respiratory problems
4. Great for the skin - opens the pores, cleanses, increases circulation
5. Relieves stress

My husband has a few other ideas about how our steam shower could be used for maximum enjoyment, but I think you get the idea. The bottom line is this - getting naked, hot and steamy is good for you!

Note: If you don't have access to a steam room, a soak in the bathtub has many of the same benefits.

Crash Course in Nutrition for Women over 40

It's time to adjust my intake of these.

I met Dr. T*, a red hot mama nutritionist with a PhD and an undercover blog, at a holiday party in December. It was perfect timing because I'd just received the lab reports from my recent physical exam and I was in need of a dietary tune up.

Hearing my internist utter the words "high cholesterol"and "vitamin deficiency" and "medication," had been strangely surreal. Could she mean those dreary conditions applied to me?

Next thing you know I'll be carrying my teeth in a cup and  wearing Depends. No wonder I'm having a midlife crisis.

Luckily, the lovely Dr. T - who radiates fitness and health -agreed to help me make sense of my issues, which are pretty common for women over 40.

High Cholesterol
The fact that my bad cholesterol (LDL) has been creeping up  is probably related to my hot flashes. Dr. T says that bad cholesterol is likely to rise in women as they approach menopause and estrogen levels decline. She also says that LDL is only one risk factor for heart disease and others, like heredity, can be of greater concern. Still, says Dr. T, there's no reason to live with high cholesterol.

"Cholesterol is easy to fix," says Dr. T. " We know so much about it." Her recommendations to reduce the waxy, wicked stuff are:

• Eat a diet that's high in fiber and low in saturated fat
• Eat more frequent, smaller meals throughout the day
• Include protein in every meal 
• Exercise! 

She also recommends foods that contain cholesterol-blocking phytosterols like Benecol margarine.   If you want to read why these steps are important, check our Dr. T's blog post on the subject.

Making changes like these can significantly lower cholesterol for some, but if it still stays high, Dr. T says we shouldn't hesitate to medicate.  "Get on the drugs! They prevent heart disease and we know they work."

Vitamin D Dilemma
Vitamin D is essential to maintaining healthy bones and may lower cholesterol and reduce the risk of cancer. Unfortunately, other than fatty fish like salmon and mackerel, few foods contain much vitamin D. The biggest natural source is sunlight, which means most of us in Northern climates are deficient for part of the year. But there're conflicting opinions about how much vitamin D we really need.

Creative Crisis Step 1- Befriend Your Body

Photo from Dove Campaign for Real Beauty

In my quest to create a fulfilling midlife crisis for myself, (see below) one of the first things I want to deal with is my body. Things, as Dylan would say, they are a changin'.


Long ago, when I was on my high school Speech team, I did a reading from Ray Bradbury's story, Fever Dreams, about a kid diagnosed with Scarlet Fever who couldn't get anyone to believe his body was actually being taken over by alien microbes. Dude, I can relate.


I've been able to handle the cosmetic changes that come with middle age fairly well - the lines, the gray hair, the weight gain. But when I break into a drenching sweat in the middle of the night or can't make out the numbers on my alarm clock in the morning, I get this serious sense of disconnect. Hot flashes and cheaters don't fit with my vibrant, vixenish image of myself.


Since having a physical exam a few weeks ago, things have gotten worse. For the first time, I have conditions and they require managing. According to my doctor, I  better shape up, cut out the fat, increase the calcium, take supplements and stop drinking so much wine or I am going to die a lot sooner than I should - which seems radically unfair because I only realized last year that I was going to die at all.


Okay, so my body has some new stuff going on. We women are used to our bodies transforming, reacting and adapting - to the time of the month, to pregnancy, to our emotions. Is this stage of life really any different? Anyway, whatever shape my body is in, I need it! I have big plans for this year and I want to have the strength, energy, focus, and zest to carry them out. 

January seems to be the right time of year to focus on issues of the physical self, so that's what I'm going to write about this month. I'm going to investigate the changes that affect women's bodies after 40. My goal is to appreciate where I am, learn how to take good care myself, and ultimately, feel comfortable in my 47 year-old skin. 

Middle age is not an alien invasion - it's not even a decline. One part of our bodies, our brains, are still growing. In her book The Breaking Point, Sue Shellenbarger says "new discoveries in neuroscience support the behavioral evidence that growth and development can reignite in middle age."

Gals, my synapses are firing and my brain is sprouting dendrites like crazy. So check back soon because we are going to have some big ass fun exploring one of our biggest assets - our bods!

It's fun, it's healthy, and you're never too old for it...

...it's sex of course! Check out my recent article from Makeitbetter.net.

Sexy at Every Age

In the 2003 movie “Something’s Gotta Give,” audiences were surprised and delighted to see Diane Keaton and Jack Nicholson get steamy between the sheets.

Last year, audiences were titillated by Meryl Streep and Alec Baldwin’s lusty bedroom antics in “It’s Complicated.”

The popularity of these movies underscores two things: 1) mature adults (especially women) are all too rarely depicted as passionate or sensual in the media, and 2) people with their AARP cards are still very interested in getting it on.

Sex for the health of itWell, why not? Healthy adults can have pleasurable sex lives at any age, and they should. According to Wilmette internist Dr. Todd Newberger, sex is always good for you.

“Physical intimacy is an enormous part of healthy adult relationships,” he says. “It helps people maintain closeness and feel young and vibrant.” And there are real health benefits as well. “If the equipment is being used, it is likely to keep performing well.”

Sex is particularly beneficial to men – it keeps their prostate healthy. Newberger will jokingly write prescriptions for men over 65 saying “more orgasms” to take home to their wives.

Older couples have advantages when it comes to maintaining an active sex life. With their kids grown, they have more privacy and time to focus on their relationship.

Mamie, 66, from Deerfield, says of her marriage to Ted, 62, “An important part of our identity as a couple is that we are lovers.” Yet, she admits that when she and Ted visit kids and grandchildren, it’s harder to wrap her mind around sex. “Ted will say, `I can see you’ve switched into mother mode now.’”

However, the physical changes that come with age mean that mature adults have to change their attitudes about what comprises a satisfying sexual encounter. Certain positions or activities may become less comfortable or even impossible. And while Viagra has helped men maintain their vigor, women don’t always appreciate its one-sided benefits.

Dr. Newberger encourages his male patients to include their wives in the Viagra decision and reminds them, “There isn’t just one way to satisfy your wife.”

Mamie and Ted enjoy being creative. They’ve both had hip replacements, so they can’t swing from chandeliers, but they aren’t shy about integrating videos or battery-operated devices to perk things up. Mamie bought some special lingerie to surprise Ted on their anniversary. “It’s important to keep things fresh,” she says.

Men and women who become single after many years of marriage can find the current sexual landscape both confusing and exciting. The rules of courtship from their youth no longer apply.

While the abundance of partners and relaxed sexual mores might be fun to experience for the first time, sex at any age comes with risks. According to Newberger, the incidence of sexually transmitted disease (STDs) in retirement communities is the same as on college campuses. In other words, sexually active older adults no longer have to worry about pregnancy, but they still have to act responsibly.

Do you make New Year's Resolutions? Let's discuss.

In this 2 minute video, my friend Shaquanda* and I discuss the pros and cons of making New Year's resolutions. What do we vow to achieve in 2010? Watch!

If you've made any resolutions, I'd love to hear about them. If you don't feel comfortable posting here, just email me at mekilleen@sbcglobal.net.

*Shaquanda is not my friend's real name. To see our earlier video on Internet Privacy, click here.

Forty-Four More

According to the National Vital Statistics Reports, the average life expectancy of a 44-year-old white woman in the United States is 38 years, meaning she is most likely to die at age 82. That means statistically, my life is more than half over. Say what? I admit, 82 sounds like a ripe old age, but it’s not nearly old enough for me. I, for one, am not going to accept the data - I refuse to conform to the mean. I really liked my first 44 years of life, so I’m ordering up 44 more.

How can I get an extra six years out of life? Forbes Magazine reports that there are ten things you can do to live longer: don’t oversleep, be optimistic, have more sex, get a pet, get a VAP test (whatever that is), be rich, don’t smoke, chill out, eat your antioxidants, and marry well.

Looking over the list, I feel pretty good about my chances. I actually sleep between six and seven hours a night, the recommended length. (Who knew that sleeping too much could actually be bad for you?) I’m an optimistic person, I have an adorable little West Highland terrier, and I don’t smoke. I’m happily married to the father of my children and while we’re not exactly rich, we’re doing okay. Other than freaking out about the fact that I only have 38 years left to live, I’m pretty chill. But there are a few areas where I can do better.

First of all, I’ve never heard of a VAP before. Apparently, it’s an advanced cholesterol test that detects heart disease much better than regular tests. It’s been a few years since I’ve had even a basic cholesterol test. If I want to live to see 88, I better make an appointment for a physical and get that VAP. I’m just glad I can wait a few more years before getting my first colonoscopy.

As for eating enough antioxidants, I’m falling short here too. Antioxidants, found in a variety of foods like blueberries, artichokes and beans, are great for cleansing the body of free radicals – the toxic molecules of oxygen that can damage and age our bodies. Antioxidants are like an inner fountain of youth. From now on, walnuts, kale and raspberries are going to be my foods of choice.

Finally, I’m going to step things up in the sex department. In addition to the obvious physical gratification, frequent sex has lots of other benefits – like stress reduction and better sleep – that can lower blood pressure and reduce risks of stroke and heart disease. Besides, this is a fun way to increase my life span. And it will benefit my husband too. As a 44-year-old white male, Liam can only expect to live another 34 years unless he takes action.

I just hope he’s interested in living longer too or else improving in this area is going to be a little tricky for me.