42, single and pregnant - It's a whole new world

This is the conclusion of my 3-part series about Sheri. Scroll down or click here to read part 1 and here for part 2.

Sheri's 2 & 1/2 year journey to get pregnant through fertility treatments was physically and emotionally challenging, but now that she's through her first trimester, all that pain is forgotten.

"As devastating as it was," she said, "once you're pregnant, you forget all about it. I appreciate the challenge of trying to get pregnant. It has been a life altering experience."

Going into the fertility process, Sheri says she was a controlling person. She always believed that if she were disciplined and worked hard enough, she would achieve her goals. While those traits served her well as an athlete and in her career, they had nothing to do with having a baby.

"I couldn't control this." Sheri said. "I had to learn to let go and face my fears to get pregnant. This process has opened me up."

Bucking the traditional family structure has been liberating to Sheri as well. "People would say to me - 'but you're cute, you could find a guy.' It's not about marriage to me anymore. It's about raising a child."

Through all the genetic testing, Sheri knows her baby is a boy. She also knows her journey has just begun.

"I'm still working on me." she said. "I focused all my energy on getting pregnant. Now I can come to who I am more authentically." She smiled and looked down at her stomach. "He (the baby) is a catalyst to moving me to who I am."

Sheri is confident she has the resources to take care of her child. She has already figured out her child care, work schedule, and budget. She'll stay in her two bedroom condo and live within her means.

"My first priority is to be a good mother," she said.

Sheri admits she does get lonely sometimes. "I want love," she said. "But it has to be right and I'm not going to settle."

In the meantime, Sheri is thrilled with her pregnancy and says she is living life in happiness and joy.

"This has been one of the most empowering things I've ever done."

My Midlife Existential Revelation

In the early morning hours of December 30th, I lay in my mother's guest room listening to the deep breathing of my daughter sleeping in the single bed next to mine when it hit me in a searing flash of insight. I was going to die.

"I'm going to die!" I stifled a moan and wrapped my arms tightly around myself. Someday my body - which I'd been taking completely for granted - was going to give out, break down, shrivel up, and when it did I'd be dead.

I'd be gone forever.

After this horrifying realization, sleep was impossible. Later that morning, gripping a cup of coffee, I shared my profound discovery with my mom. She didn't seem all that impressed.

"We're all going to die, dear," she said, turning a page of the newspaper.

"I know that - of course I know everybody dies," I said impatiently, "But I don't mean everybody. I mean me! ME! I'm going to die, Mom. It's awful."

"Yes it is." agreed Mom, "Think of how I feel."

I looked at her. "Why? Do you think about it - about dying?"

"I think about death all the time," she said, matter-of-factly.

"Oh."

Until now, I'd never given a single thought to my own mortality and here my mom had been dealing with hers on a regular basis. And my mom is a healthy, vibrant woman. For that matter, so am I. But...

"Dying really sucks," I muttered bitterly.

A few days have passed and I'm still digesting the fact that I'm gonna die. It's changing my perspective. I don't think life is meaningless, but the fact that I'm going to die no matter what I do makes some things less important. Like dieting. I mean, since I'm going to be dead, shouldn't I enjoy McDonald's french fries while I still can? On the other hand, maybe it's time to take care of myself - get all holistic and healthy - to postpone that appointment with the grim reaper as long as possible.

And there are much bigger issues to rethink - like my relationships, my life's purpose, and how to dispose of 30 years of really embarrassing diaries. My inevitable death is confusing and upsetting. I'm not sure if I'm having a midlife crisis, an existential crisis or a divine revelation!

I know I'm not alone. Many of you, like my mother and my husband, apparently, have already come to grips with the fact that you (and by this I mean YOU, not everyone in general) are going to expire. I'm curious - when did you first gain this knowledge? Does it make you live more cautiously or with more abandon? Do you eat bacon?

There's actually a book about this subject called What's Your Expiry Date - Embrace your mortality, Live with vitality, written by Patrick Mathieu, a guy with serious heart problems who has been interviewed on Oprah & Friends by Dr. Oz. Mathieu says by accepting your mortality you can live a fearless, focused, regret-free life.

Sounds good to me, although I haven't actually read the book and probably won't get around to it. After all, life's just too damn short.