Hey Mom - Meredith and I Are Not Too Old

My mom, Jane, had her high school friends, Janet and Cathy, come stay with her in Florida for a week and she showed them this blog, including some of the video segments I've done. "Did they like it?" I asked her over the phone.

"Oh yes," Mom burbled, "They said you should be a talk show host!" Then she paused. "But I told them you were too old."

I was flabbergasted. "Mom, I'm not too old. How can you say that?"

"Well..." she demurred. "How old is that Meredith person?"

"Meredith Vieira is older than me, and so is Ellen, and so is Oprah for God's sake! Talk show hosts are not necessarily young." I was suddenly very upset at the thought of my professional talk show hosting days being over before they'd even begun.

"Okay, dear, if you say so." But from the tone of her voice, I could tell she wasn't convinced.

I'm used to my kids telling me I'm too old for things, but there's a special sting when your mother says it. I mean, she's a whole generation ahead of me, so who is she to call me old, huh?

To be a good talk show host you need life experience, intelligence, and a sense of humor - traits that often aren't fully developed until you hit 40 or so. And there's really no age limit to hosting a show if the topic is interesting enough. Sex educator Sue Johanson has a very successful show on Oxygen TV called "Talk Sex" and she is 78.

I've decided that my mom's comments reflect more on how she's feeling about her own age, not mine. I mean - if your daughter is too old for certain activities, then you must be really ancient. But cheer up Mom. I'm young enough to host my own talk show and so are you!

Not Tonight Dear, I've Got to Meditate

Now here's an alternative lifestyle worth considering. A recent New York Times article profiled the One Taste Urban Retreat Center in San Francisco, a coed living commune dedicated to the female orgasm.

The center opens its yoga and meditation classes to the public, but only residents can participate in "morning practice," a private session of Orgasmic Meditation (OM-ing for short.) During OM, women are carressed by their fully-dressed, eye-averting "research partners" with whom they are not necessarily romantically involved. Their mutual goal is the woman's fulfillment.

The founder of the center, Nicole Daedone, believes this technique is essential for female empowerment. "I don't think women will really experience freedom until they own their sexuality," she says. The male research partners also get benefits from the OM sessions, like relaxation and increased concentration at work.

We Midwesterners are notoriously prudish, and as far as I can tell, no one is holding OM sessions here in the Chicago area. But purely in the interest of female equality, I'm going to keep an eye out.

What's in For Spring

In this three minute video Kate Shifrin gives us a peek at the key fashion trends for Spring. Winter is almost over gals - it's time to come out of the closet in color!

In Reality, Moms of Teens Deserve Top Spot

Reality shows have taken over the airwaves. The contestants of American Idol, Top Chef, America's Next Top Model and Project Runway face off in intense singing, cooking, cat-walking and fashion design competitions. Please, what a bunch of wimps. I'm proposing a reality show that's really hardcore - Top Mom: The Teen Edition.

Moms are tough cookies to begin with. In addition to nurturing, they're masters of multi-tasking and efficiency. As author Lisa Ather says, "Any mother could perform the jobs of several air traffic controllers with ease."

But motherhood hits a new level of difficulty when kids reach adolescence. Teens can be rebellious, secretive, moody and reckless - and moms have to use all their physical, mental and emotional skills to keep up.

My reality show would put macho moms in the limelight as they compete in events that test their ability to:

1) Maintain composure while teaching teen to parallel park.
2) Deliver tricky "Don't Have Sex But if You do, Use a Condom" speech.
3) Develop surveillance methods to covertly track teen's whereabouts.
4) Withstand barrages of sarcasm and disdain without losing self esteem.
5) Load minivan with drum kit, guitar, bass, amps, music stands and five 14-year-old boys (timed event.)

Even Simon Cowell would agree that performing any one of these feats requires a lot more talent and commitment than singing a pop song or preparing a souffle. Top Mom: The Teen Edition would tap into a whole demographic that is currently ignored by reality shows and appeal to advertisers like Prozac and Grey Goose vodka.

I'm calling Tyra Banks right now to give her my pitch.

Friend Me on Facebook

Saturday night was my son's first high school dance. It was a big deal - jacket and tie, pictures, corsage, pre-dance dinner and post-dance party. It brought back fond memories of my own high school dances. So imagine how happy I was when, yesterday, two of my long lost friends from Lakeland High School, Lisa and Frog, found me on Facebook. There, posted on Lisa's wall was our double date photo from my Junior Prom! (I'm the one seated and my date, Brian, is standing behind me.)

How I love Facebook. Every day it brings a new surprise.

I originally started Facebooking about a year ago to keep track of my son's online activities. I still check up on him from time to time, but these days, Facebook is all about me, me, me and of course, my beloved 118 (and counting) friends.

Facebook allows me to keep tabs on people I don't see very often, as well as share laughs with people I see all the time. I've entered my cousin Rachel's baby pool (my bet is March 26th), traded movie reviews with my gal pal Suzanne, and learned that my old boss Jim's middle name is Bernard. I know when Stephanie's band is playing and that it's snowing right now in Eau Claire. I even enjoy looking at photos of really fun parties that I wasn't invited to.

Sure, it's all rather trivial, but these intimate little details are the stuff friendships are made of and I like it all. But I don't have to tell YOU that. You're reading a blog, so you are obviously one internet-savvy hipster. You're probably already experiencing the joys of Facebook.

In which case, friend me!

The Case for An Afternoon Nap

Yesterday afternoon I did something wonderful. I took a nap. I hadn't slept well the night before and was cranky and out of sorts all morning. I glugged coffee, struggled through my workout, and sat blankly at my computer for two hours trying to write. The only thing I accomplished was to research remedies for puffy eyes. (FYI, old fashioned cucumber slices and tea bag compresses still seem to be the best fixes.)

Finally, at 2 p.m., I stopped fighting my fatigue and went upstairs to my bedroom. I only intended to "stretch out" as my grandmother used to say, but I immediately fell fast asleep. I woke at 3:45 p.m. just before my daughter Emma got home from school. That nap was amazing, because I felt marvelous for the rest of the day.

We women are often so busy taking care of everyone else that we short change our own needs. Many of us are not getting a full night's sleep, which undermines our mental alertness and overall health. A restorative mid-day nap might just be the answer. Power napping has been proven to increase productivity and reduce stress. Winston Churchill and Thomas Edison were avid nappers, and they certainly were no slouches in the productivity department.

As comedian Carrie Snow says, “No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap.”

Being sleep-deprived is not a virtue. We have a responsibility to take care of ourselves, and I'm advocating afternoon naps as one of our unalienable rights. Take out your calendar and schedule some time to recline. And don't call me after lunch!

The Way to A Woman's Heart

Last night my husband gave me the most sensuous, romantic Valentine's gift. He cooked me dinner. He planned the whole thing from start to finish and, let me tell you, it was hot.

Just watching Liam page through the cookbook that morning gave me goosebumps. When he brought in bags of groceries in the afternoon, I went weak in the knees. As dusk fell, my heart pounded as he got out the food processor. And when his bubbling sauce pan filled the kitchen with a spicy aroma, I could barely control my desire.

My anticipation reached a fevered pitch as he lit candles and poured champagne. Finally, at eight o'clock, Liam served me a beautiful plate of grilled chilean sea bass, roasted potatoes and creamed spinach. I wanted to rip his apron off.

Men should know that women also appreciate being wooed through their stomachs. Having a man take the time and effort to plan and cook a meal is a total turn on. I certainly appreciated Liam for going to all that trouble.

And what was on the menu for dessert? Let's just say it was delicious.

Have Your Cake - Look Younger Too

Here's a reason to break out the cupcakes - a recently published study found that a major contributor to an aged appearance is being too thin. You read that right. According to the research, when identical twins over 40 were studied, the thin twin looked older than her pudgier sister.

It makes sense really. Our facial fat cells get smaller as we age, which can lead to a drawn, lined appearance. Injectable cosmetic fillers like Juvederm and Restylane are one way to replace the youthful face fat. But the natural way to stave off lines and wrinkles is to eat your way to a plumper, younger you.

Get out the cheetos and the hot fudge brownies and let the new anti-wrinkle regimen begin!


Note: The study found that sun damage, smoking and depression made women look older as well.

Talking Publicly About Privacy

The Internet is a playground of self-promotion, but it's still important to maintain your privacy and image, which is what my "friend" and I discuss here.

I'm not sure if this video does us more harm than good, but it's all in good fun.

Better Than Ever - Bruce!

In my last post, I promised to talk about recreational activities that have become more fun in my forties, but I am too distracted by last night's Super Bowl. I don't want to let anyone down, so quickly, here are pursuits that are more entertaining than ever:  Sports, Music and Sex. And while each of those topics is worthy of discussion, here's what I really want to talk about.

Did you see Bruce Springsteen perform at the Super Bowl Halftime show? Wasn't he amazing? The guy is 59 years old and is in incredible shape, not to mention that he and the E Street Band rocked. And that foxy, red-haired guitarist backing him up? That's Patti Scialfa, his 55 year-old wife and mother of his three kids. Springsteen is one of the few rockers I know who left his first wife (Julianne Phillips, now 48) for an older woman.

When Bruce looked right into the camera and told America to back away from the guacamole dip and turn the television volume way up, I did just that. And for 14 minutes there was no denying that The Boss is better than ever. That performance left me feeling pretty good too - cos baby I was born to run.