Hey Goldilocks, Get into the Woods

Feeling frazzled, unfocused, pent-up with frustration? For once, my recommendation has nothing to do with sex. Get into the woods, woman.

I've lived on the North Shore for 15 years, and until recently never ventured into the nearby Glenview Woods. But these days, when it's time to walk Kelly I'm more likely to throw my pooch into the car so we can have some unleashed quality time in a place that's restorative and fun for both of us. These pics are from our outing on Saturday.

Wildflowers along the path

After just a few minutes on the trail I can breathe better; after a half hour in I'm immersed in the beauty of the the trees, the sound of the river, and the unexpected combinations of wildflowers clustered along the path. Plus, hiking the rolling terrain is good exercise.

Sunlight streaming through the trees.

Kelly bounds through the underbrush chasing chipmunks, and seeing her emerge - quivering with excitement and covered in burrs - is ridiculously gratifying. What had I been fretting about an hour ago? Who cares? In the forest I feel like I'm 11 years old. 

During these last gorgeous days of summer and early fall, find a woodland spot that you can escape to. You know what you might discover? Yourself.

For recommendations of nature spots of the North Shore, see my article and video for Make it Better.

Say Non-Non to Sloppy Dressing in Public

Now that a new school year is in session, I propose we make a fashion resolution - no more going to the grocery store looking like slobs!

I know everybody is busy and trying to multi-task, but I say it's worth making an effort to look cute even when running everyday errands. I'm tired of going to the Jewel among people who appear to have just rolled out of bed or come from a sweaty workout. First of all, it's unappetizing; I'm buying stuff to eat here. Secondly, I find the female frumpiness depressing, especially for women our age. Come on, we are at the height of our powers! We middle aged chicks owe it to ourselves and the women around us to take more pride in our appearance. I'm always inspired by well dressed women.

Ines de la Fressange,
Image via Stylebistro.com

French women (whose effortless sense of style I am obsessed with right now) would never be caught dead wearing a dumpy outfit or gym clothes in public.  Even when undertaking the most mundane chores, they leave the house looking put together. It's not that they have an extensive wardrobe or spend tons of time on getting dressed, either. It's just that style and self-image are higher priorities than comfort and convenience. They invest in basics, accessorize with flair, and wear the heck out of their clothes. Older women are expected to look as chic as their younger counterparts.

"Age is no excuse for giving up and letting go. It's the opposite, in fact. As you get older, you need to be more vigilant about your sense of style, make more effort and not just let it all slide."  French style icon, Ines de la Fressange, 55

But many American women don't see the point.

"I don't care what I look like at the grocery store," says my friend Hilary, while wearing a  pretty, perfectly accessorized outfit for our casual lunch date. "I'm running errands, not trying to impress anyone."

"But you look great right now!"I point out.  

"That's because I'm meeting you," she says, exasperated. "I care about you." 

Ah-ha! So dressing up is a sign of respect to others, right?

I say we should extend that honor to all the people we interact with. And hey, the grocery store is a very public place! I run into more people I know at Jewel or Target or Costco than I do when I'm out on the town. I'm done with cowering in the pet food aisle, trying to avoid greeting an acquaintance because I look like dog poop.

Look, I'm not saying we should put on stilletos and a pencil skirt to pick up the dry cleaning. And I say everyone gets a free pass on what they wear in the car. But look how practical Ines de la Fressange's chic ensemble is, above. Her basic outfit is jeans, jacket, tailored shirt and flats. That's an achievable look for anyone. And since it's almost noon, I am going to get out of my pjs and try it out.

Love to hear your thoughts on this one. Au revoir mes amis!

Introducing Sex & the Suburbs Live!

Yippie, my "Sex & the Suburbs" column for Make it Better is going to be a series of live shows! If you live in the Chicago area, please join me on September 27th, October 18th, and November 29th at the Wilmette Theatre for a lively, spicy discussion about sexing it up after you've settled down. I've got some brilliant guest experts joining me.

Bring your girlfriends, bring your man, bring your mother for god's sake! (Just leave the kids at home.) We'll share some wine, laughs and inspiring advice for feeling hotter and more excited about not just sex, but life. Check out my vid and cool poster, below.

For tickets and information, visit wilmettetheatre.com.

Two Awesome Ads for Women

Okay, the agencies that created these Nike and Sauza Tequila commercials really get us women. The first ad inspires me, and the second, um, holds my attention. Watch and enjoy. I think you'll agree.

Way to celebrate women athletes and Title IX, Wieden & Kennedy!



And my deepest appreciation, Euro RSCG Chicago. Hot firemen with adorable kittens and cocktails are definitely a way to a woman's heart.

Advice to College Freshmen (and Their Moms Too)

My son, Nick, is heading off to The University of Michigan in a month and I couldn't be prouder. I have lots of advice for him, but I think this may be the point in our relationship when he stops listening for a while. So in honor of my firstborn leaving the nest, here's a video packed with great advice for incoming college freshmen from the people that know best - current college students. Thanks to all the students who helped me out on this project for Make It Better. Your poise, humor, and smarts are very reassuring to this mom.



P.S. - Nick will be swimming for the world class Michigan Men's Swimming & Diving team and  I'm a Michigan grad myself - BBA '84 - so Go Blue!

Fifty Shades of Frustration

Yeah, I read 50 Shades of Grey, yeah, I found some of the sex scenes kinda hot - but frankly, the book left me longing for more. Like erotica that would appeal to a real mom, not some 21 year-old, unkissed virgin. Here's my review of and foray into the genre, over at Makeitbetter.net. My mommy porn starts like this....

Victoria woke, stretching luxuriously. What a delicious night’s sleep she’d had! She snuggled back into her plump feather pillows, running her palms slowly down her flat stomach. All the hard work had been worth it. She’d lost 20 pounds and hadn’t felt this great about her body since 1991.

The house seemed unusually quiet, and then Victoria remembered—the kids were away at summer camp and her husband was still off pursuing his lifelong dream of backpacking across Alaska. She was alone.  

Read the full column here. 

Sexy, Skinny Summer Secrets

My capacity for critical thinking seems to be on vacation this month, but I do have a couple summertime discoveries to share.

1. Last week I bought a pair of Gap "Sexy Boyfriend" jeans and I love the loose but not baggy fit so much I've worn them every day for the last five days without washing. No one has seemed to notice. Okay, I don't get out much.

2. I have developed a whole new form of meditation that centers on lying on a hammock and gazing up through the tree branches while eating a Skinny Cow ice cream sandwich very, very slowly. I believe I have found enlightenment. Especially when I do the Skinny Cow meditation while wearing the Sexy Boyfriend jeans.

Bye, now.

Why You Should Talk Sex with Your Daughter

Where else will your daughter
get her information?

I write about sex for a magazine that is distributed throughout my community, which you'd think would make me top candidate for world's most embarrassing mom. I admit, when my column was first published in Make it Better magazine, I did cringe at the thought of my two teens reading some of my more risque pieces - especially the ones about sex toys and pole dancing. But then I figured, hey - my column is fun, respectful and well researched. I say it's as good a place to learn about sex as any  - and much, much better than stupid, sleazy, "reality" shows on channels like MTV or "learn these tricks to please your man" articles in Cosmopolitan.

But now I've discovered another reason to feel good about what I do. Opening a dialogue about sex is good for my daughter. According to Joyce McFadden, author of "Your Daughter's Bedroom: Insights for Raising Confident Women," our kids, and especially our daughters, need for us to talk about sexuality, because what we communicate by avoiding it is damaging.

If we don't teach our daughters about sexuality from the time they're little or if we only give them a crumb of information here and there, we inadvertently communicate that female sexuality is too shameful to discuss in polite company. We unintentionally teach them that their sexuality -- and ours -- is bad. Our girls then absorb this shame and badness and take it into their general sense of themselves -- into how they see who they are.
Joyce McFadden, Huffington Post

As mothers, we are the role models for sexuality to our daughters. If we're too hung up to talk openly about sex, we pass our hang-ups on to them. I'm not saying the pieces I write for "Sex & the Suburbs," which are geared to mostly to middle-aged moms in long-term relationships, are appropriate topics for my high school sophomore. But I'm not embarrassed that she knows I write about sex, am interested in sex, and yes, enjoy having it.

image via amazon

According to the author, our daughters want our guidance about sex - not just because they need information, but because they recognize it as "an act of maternal love."

Don't we all want our daughters to become women who understand and value their bodies, have confidence and pride, and enjoy a fulfilling sex life? I know I do! And most of all, I want a close relationship with my daughter throughout her life.

Plant some Pots!

I don't have a green thumb, but with the help of my gardening guru friend Mary Shearson, now even I can create beautiful outdoor planters and flower pots. And so can you! This short video was created for my other favorite site, Make it Better.

My Big O Sex Column

My latest "Sex & the Suburbs" column is all about orgasms. Relax, Mom, not MY orgasms - women's orgasms in general. And, no surprise, we're wired very differently from men. Here's a little teaser, below, but please read the complete article over at Make It Better - 5 Things to Know About the Female Big O.

image from makeitbetter.net

2. Straight-up sex rarely rings the bell

Fewer than 25% of women climax through intercourse alone. A woman’s hot button is her clitoris, which, since it’s external, is tricky to engage during intercourse. As Dr. Lissa Rankin writes in her book, “What’s Up Down There.” “The truth is that the majority of sexual positions that involve vaginal penetration fail to stimulate the clitoris at all. Most women need something more.”

Men often forget this fact, so to help them relate, ask your guy to imagine having sex without his penis being involved. Not that much fun, right?
 Click here for full article.